Chapters (85)
- BOOKS BY LOUISE BAY
- ONE
- Rosey
- TWO
- Byron
- THREE
- Rosey
- FOUR
- Byron
- FIVE
- Rosey
- SIX
- Byron
- SEVEN
- Rosey
- EIGHT
- Rosey
- NINE
- Byron
- TEN
- Rosey
- ELEVEN
- Byron
- TWELVE
- Rosey
- THIRTEEN
- Byron
- FOURTEEN
- Rosey
- FIFTEEN
- Rosey
- SIXTEEN
- Byron
- SEVENTEEN
- Rosey
- EIGHTEEN
- Byron
- NINETEEN
- Rosey
- TWENTY
- Rosey
- TWENTY-ONE
- Byron
- TWENTY-TWO
- Byron
- TWENTY-THREE
- Rosey
- TWENTY-FOUR
- Rosey
- TWENTY-FIVE
- Byron
- TWENTY-SIX
- Rosey
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- Byron
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- Rosey
- TWENTY-NINE
- Byron
- THIRTY
- Rosey
- THIRTY-ONE
- Rosey
- THIRTY-TWO
- Byron
- THIRTY-THREE
- Rosey
- THIRTY-FOUR
- Rosey
- THIRTY-FIVE
- Byron
- THIRTY-SIX
- Rosey
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- Byron
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- Byron
- EPILOGUE
- A month later – New York City
- 14 months later - Star Falls
- MR. MAYFAIR
- Beck
- Beck
- Stella
- BOOKS BY LOUISE BAY
“You feel guilty because if your mom had your salary from the job at Frank’s garage, your sister would be able to go to college?” I ask, trying to figure out why Rosey seems a little reserved tonight.
“No, I doubt she’d let Marion go either way. But if I were there… maybe she’d be focused on me and Frank, and what she could get from him. Her attention wouldn’t be on Marion.”
I don’t know what to say to that. It’s fucked up that she feels the need to shield her sisters from her mom. That she feels guilty for not taking the shots so they can escape.
“You want me to help with anything?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No. I’ll figure it out.”
I want to help somehow. I want to make her feel better. Doesn’t she see that?
She must read the disappointment in my face. “It’s kind of you to offer,” she says, “but I can’t rely on other people for things. That’s how…” She doesn’t finish her sentence. She just shrugs.
I shift to face her. “That’s how what?”
“I’ve never been independent. First my mom, then Frank. I’ve never made my own decisions about anything. I’ve never taken action that wasn’t approved by my mom. I need to give the trailer back to Frank. I’ve made that decision and it feels like a big one.” Her voice cracks and I want to pull her into a hug. This is clearly a huge deal for her.
“I’m not trying to influence your decision.”
She nods. “I know. But I’m terrified that if we keep going like this, or if I let you fix my problems, I’m going to slip into a role where… I’m not myself.”
“I don’t want you to be anyone but yourself,” I say. “I like you too much to want you to change.”
“I know. The thing is, I feel like a toddler out in the world. I’ve spent my life trying to please my mom or at least avoid making her angry. I’ve bent and changed myself so much to fit her needs that I don’t know who I am when I’m standing tall. I need to learn that.”
“And you’re worried you’re going to bend for me if you talk to my lawyer, or if you spend a few more days in the cabin?”
She holds my gaze. We both know that her not volunteering to delay her move is circling our conversation like a hawk.