She’s right. That would be idiotic. I am an idiot. The right answer has been sitting in front of me for months, and I’ve been too paralyzed by self-doubt and caught up in my own delusions to see it clearly. I look down at the empty oyster shells on the silver tray filled with ice chips, and the same drink I’ve nursed on a half dozen first dates at this very bar, and suddenly, sitting stationary in my own skin feels suffocating. I need to get out of here. I know what I have to do.

“Carmen, I think I have to head out. I need to fix this,” I say. My voice sounds unsteady, but I feel the comforting sensation of a plan clicking into place. “Thank you for helping me fix this.”

She chuckles. “Go. I’ll stay and get the check. Just tell me how it goes.”

• Chapter 26 •

I’ve speed-walked two blocks toward Golden Years before it occurs to me to text Raj and see if he’s even there. I pause on the sidewalk to write to him. “Hey,” I type, pressing send before I lose my nerve. I add, “Can we talk in person? Where are you?” I’m too wound up to wait for his reply.

I zoom through my neighborhood, past the bodega with one too many cats and the new smoothie shop that has the nerve to charge twelve dollars a pop. I can’t believe I wasted almost two weeks worrying if Blake would come around and say yes to my proposition. I never thought I’d be the girl who waits for a guy who doesn’t want her.

Golden Years’s bright neon sign is like a lighthouse. It casts a warm glow on the sidewalk, and I race toward it. Just outside the bar, I check my phone. No response from Raj. I scroll down through my inbox to find Blake’s name. It’s way farther down than I expected it to be. Our conversation looks pathetically one-sided: it’s a string of desperate pleas from me and silence from him.

“Blake, I’m sorry,” I write. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I shouldn’t have asked you to show up at the wedding. You shouldn’t come. I don’t think it’s the right move for either of us.”

I read over what I’ve written once, then twice, and then I press send. I get a chill of satisfaction. It’s strange to feel free of wanting someone I once wanted so badly.