“I guess I’ll have to go to keep your ass in line,” I whispered back. Why did I sound like a cat in heat? And how could he turn me to a puddle of mush so easily? I didn’t really do the whole party scene anymore. But this was part of my job. Was he inviting me for other reasons? Visions of us making out in a frat boy bathroom assaulted me. Not even nasty imaginary toilets filled with regurgitated Everclear could make the hope in my belly stop bubbling up. I’d kiss Oakley in a bathroom. I would kiss him in a spoon. I’d kiss Oakley Davis with green eggs and ham in the bottom of a lake, in a boat on a goat...

“I like how you keep my ass in line,” he whispered against my neck, drawing me out of my thoughts. I flushed. My pink canoe was ready for a ride on the river, if you know what I mean.

“I’m sure there are plenty of others ready to ride your ass,” I snarked. Yep. I sounded jealous. I might as well have lifted my leg and pissed on his patch of grass.

He smiled—the nerve of him. Smiling when I was here showing how pathetic I was. “I’d like you as close to my ass as possible for the duration of the evening, Solver.”

That was such an odd statement that I didn’t know which part to pick apart first. “Was that supposed to be sexy?” I asked.

Oakley burst out laughing. “I’m trying here, Amanda.”

“Maybe try a balls joke?” Dale interjected.

“I, like, totally love your ass,” Kelseigh piped in. “I’m an ass girl.” The other two groupies nodded. This was officially awkward. We had an audience, and we were talking about Oakley’s ass.

“I’ll go,” I said. “Not for your balls or ass,” I then quickly added. “I will go because I’m your publicist, and I’m hella good at what I do.”

I stared down Kelseigh and the blondes with a forced grin, then stood up quickly from the table and announced that I had somewhere to be. Really, I was fleeing before this could devolve into something worse than it already had.

“Aww, Amanda, don’t go,” Oakley pleaded. “You didn’t even eat yet.”

“I’m sorry, I wish I could stay. But I have a meeting that I, uh, really can’t miss. Thanks for lunch,” I said as I was gathering my things and getting ready to go. “Bye!” I called and ran out of there like my creepy Uncle Joe had just spotted me at the family reunion.

I was halfway back to the apartment when I realized that the kegger was after the game. This weekend. The same weekend my loving and adoring parents were coming to visit to see how much better I was doing here than in California. Fuck.