“Now,” a deep voice said with a chuckle.

A man roughly the size of Chris Hemsworth fell from the trees like a motherfucking ninja. He looked all badass, roaring and shit as he surged forward and lunged for me.

I screamed, because that’s a normal response to a big dude jumping out of the forest at you. Heath grabbed me around the middle while Ryan went to tackle our attacker. One second my feet were firmly planted on the ground, and the next I was slung over fuckboy’s shoulder and had his massive hand resting on my clenched ass as he sprinted away. My boobs bounced against his back, and I demanded he put me down.

“Protect the ball at all cost!” he yelled.

What was it with dudes protecting their balls?

This ball wanted to go home.

A girlish scream that came from Ryan made me giggle. It was loud and frantic, like a woman screeching. Kyle was running beside us, looking over his shoulder to see if we were being chased. “We lost Ryan!” he yelled.

“Leave him,” Heath replied breathlessly.

Damn. All’s fair in love and war and hazing games at the Devil’s Backbone.

I was suddenly very happy to be the ball after all, mostly because I didn’t have to run like hell. Kyle and Heath had been jogging for about a minute, and my boobs were starting to hurt from all the jiggling. I really wished that I had just stayed in my sports bra that morning. But no. I had to be an adult and put on a real bra with underwire and everything.

“Hey, guys, as fun as this is, I don’t think we’re being chased anymore. Can you put me down?” I directed toward Heath. He reached the hand that wasn’t supporting my weight up to hold my back and lowered me down. He managed to brush my breast as I was sliding down off his shoulder. Before pulling away, he gave it a light squeeze. The feminist in me wanted to grab him by the balls and twist, but the survivalist in me didn’t want to piss off one of the dudes whose entire focus was getting me to safety. I decided to let it slide. For now.

I smoothed out my clothes and started walking again. My heart was still racing from the chase. I took deep breaths and repeated the first mantra that came to mind: Allow me to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Ok, it was the AA mantra, but I was currently under a lot of stress, and it was the only one that I could think of.