Shelby was home when I walked through the front door of our condo. She was also buck ass naked. She was also doing yoga. I also saw her lady garden. Thank fuck she was all natural, because I only saw a seventies-worthy bush, but it still made me drop my luggage and scream at her spread eagle pose.

“Fucking hell, Shelbs. I told you I was coming home today.”

She didn’t even stumble.

“What’s wrong?” she asked on a breezy exhale.

“Couldn’t you do that somewhere else? This is like a bad porno.”

She rolled her eyes and stood up on her yoga mat and stretched her arms above her head. “I don’t like to be restricted by my clothes, Amanda. Also, I tried one of your meditation videos. The one about harnessing your sexual power was truly enlightening.”

I shook my head and sprinted to my bedroom, slamming the door with an angry thud and then plopping on my bed. I had two papers to write and needed to check my email for a follow-up review of Oakley’s weekend. I still felt weird about my job. I knew that my future as a PR rep would have a lot of shady gray areas, but Oakley’s reveal had me questioning what lines I should draw.

I was just about to type up an email to Dr. Haynes, asking for guidance, when my phone started ringing. Mom.

“Hey, Mom! I was just thinking about you. What’s up?” I answered.

“Eleanor got a sports car! And it’s RED! Can you believe that?” she blurted out. It sounded like she had been dying to talk about Eleanor’s new sports car for days. Eleanor was my parents’ neighbor and had been for the twenty-five years my parents had owned their house, although she had been there much longer. Eleanor was like an aunt to me; she used to color chalk on the sidewalk with me, sneak me M&M’s, and when I was a teenager, she was a safe space for me to rage about how unfair my mom was being. I loved Eleanor. Her husband, Bob, had passed away unexpectedly right before I left for college. I had only seen her a handful of times since Bob passed, and I made a mental note to send her a letter.

“That’s great?” I replied, not really sure how my mom wanted me to react to the news of Eleanor’s choice of new car. “What kind is it?”

“What do you mean, what kind is it? It’s red! And a convertible! At her age…” Ok, I guess we were feeling judgy about the car.

“Oh yeah. Well, when you put it like that!” I indulged my mom and rolled my eyes just a little. “What are you up to?” I tried to change the subject.

“I’m so happy you asked! We’re coming to visit. Surprise!!” she said excitedly.