My clock said that it was 5:17 a.m. It was way too early—even for me—but I couldn’t sleep. Most of my night was spent tossing and turning. I spent fifteen minutes debating whether or not I wanted to get up or try going back to sleep. Ultimately, I decided to get in a morning jog. I had a meeting with Dr. Haynes today, and I needed to work out some, uh...tension and clear my mind.

As much as I hated to admit it, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Oakley since we went to dinner the other night. I started to grab shoes with laces that didn’t match my yoga pants just to spite the presumptuous asshole, but right before I left, I dashed back in my room and put on the right ones. Dammit.

While jogging down the crowded streets of Austin, my mind ran wild. I never understood why some people said working out cleared your mind. It just made mine go crazy. I thought about everything: what I was going to wear today; what homework I needed to do; Oakley’s smile; my meeting with Dr. Haynes; Oakley’s abs; my paper due in marketing; Oakley’s di—

“Lady! Watch where you’re going!”

I sidestepped a pedestrian carrying a large box and headed back to my apartment. I made sure to slam the door for a good morning jolt for my still-sleeping roommate, then headed to my bathroom, stripped, and jumped in the shower.

The hot water felt good on my screaming muscles. I may have hit it a little too hard on my run. The calories I’d burned blistered across my mind. I mentally tallied my daily intake. I thought about the lack of sleep I’d gotten and what self-care I could do to feel human again. Maybe I could squeeze in a few chapters of the new self-help book I just bought: Girl, You Fucking Got This.

And then I thought about Oakley. What wasn’t he telling me? I couldn’t understand what was so bad about his family that he didn’t want me to know. I was certain that the information wouldn’t be difficult to find with a little digging, but for some reason, it felt wrong. I wanted to hear it from him. My mind wandered from his family being Scientologists to porn stars until my fingers were so pruny I had to get out. I got dressed, grabbed my bag, and headed out the door. If it was even possible, my mind was more clouded than it was before my run.

I made it to Dr. Haynes’s office a few minutes early. I pulled out my phone, hoping to see a text from Oakley, but saw one from my mom instead. She sent me a picture of a teacup pig wearing a bright yellow raincoat.

Mom: Do you think Dad will let me get one of these?