‘You’re probably right. What’s more, you’re the only one who ever listens.’

‘I’m listening now.’ Molly had an inkling of what was on her mam’s mind, but she daren’t even think about it.

Sighing long and deep, Amy opened her heart. ‘God forgive me, lass, but the awful truth is… I never wanted that little bairn.’

It was what Molly had half expected. Knowing how difficult it must be for her mam to confide such a thing, she waited, giving her time to compose herself.

Amy hesitated. It was a shameful confession she had never wanted to make, especially to Molly.

‘I know that sounds terrible,’ she murmured, ‘and it makes me look like a hard woman, and happen I am, but if I am it’s your dad who’s made me like that. I’m tired of being as big as a ship from one year’s end to another; too heavy to walk, legs like pit props, and so weary at the end of a day I could lay down in the gutter and sleep… that’s how it’s always been with your dad. You see, Molly, right from the start I never wanted all them childer, only what could I do?’ Filled with remorse, she let the tears spill over.

Molly understood and told her so. ‘What with one thing and another, you’ve been through a bad experience,’ she said tenderly. ‘It’s bound to take a while but, God willing, you’ll be fine, Mam. Just give yourself time.’

‘Any other woman would be heartbroken at what’s happened,’ Amy insisted. ‘Only I can’t grieve, you see? There was no love in me for the child.’ A sob caught in her throat. ‘Is that so bad?’

Molly despaired at seeing her mam like this. Normally Amy was strong as a bull elephant; she had always seemed able to cope with anything. Now, seeing her low and vulnerable, Molly’s heart went out to her. ‘Don’t punish yourself, Mam,’ she pleaded. ‘What’s happened can’t be undone. None of it was your fault, the doctor told you that.’

Through her tears, Amy gave the tiniest smile. ‘I’ve never turned your father away, but I should have done. I should have had more respect for myself than to keep giving in to his drunken demands. Only, well… you must know what he’s like. So overpowering – a real bully when he can’t get his own way. I’ve always had to give in, if only for the sake of peace and quiet.’

‘Ssh.’ Moving closer, Molly drew Amy’s head to her breast. ‘You don’t need to apologise for anything,’ she said. ‘Not to me… not to anybody!’ Anger filled her soul. She knew the way of things, for hadn’t she heard her dad time and again, laying down his demands? And hadn’t she herself fought down a feeling of nausea and hatred because of it?

Having mustered the courage to confide, Amy had a need to empty her heart to someone, and unlike Lottie, she knew Molly would never betray her. ‘Sometimes I feel as if I’ve never had a life of my own,’ she told her eldest daughter. ‘It’s like I’ve missed out on everything, and now it’s all too late. Your dad will never change, I can see that now.’ All her children had been born at home, with Maggie in attendance. Now, one step back from the awful situation with Frank, she had somehow gained a new insight into her miserable life.