Nick still had a dad.

Not that Nick’s dad worked that hard at being a dad, Archie thought. He was away on business half the time, and when he was home, he spent most of his free hours on the golf course. But hey, at least he was alive.

The kid Archie definitely did not want to trade places with was Rory. He liked hanging out with him and all, but Rory was not, as Archie’s dad used to say, “wired up right.” The red wires and the green wires got crossed somewhere along the way. Yeah, sure, they were all curious about girls and sneaking onto the Internet to look at porn and, frankly, scared to death about actually talking to the opposite sex and someday going out with them, but Rory seemed a little too obsessed.

The Arrival wound its way through the parking lot and came to a stop next to the sidewalk out front of the main doors to the mall.

“Where to first?” Nick asked his crew. “We can get out here and Pamela will park herself.”

“Go park yourself!” Rory said, making it sound like a foul-mouthed insult.

Archie said, “First stop Cinnabon. I want a cinnamon roll with extra icing. I’m starving.”

Nick, gazing toward the dash, said, “Pamela, open the doors.”

The doors did not open.

Nick scowled. “Hey, Pamela, we’re here. Open the doors and go park yourself.”

The doors did not open.

“Uh, Pamela,” Nick said, “we’re here. Can you let us out?”

“Open the pod bay doors, Hal,” Rory said with mock seriousness.

“What’s wrong?” Archie asked Nick.

He shook his head. “I don’t know. Must be a glitch or something. Maybe if—”

“Please state your destination.”

Nick brightened at the sound of Pamela’s voice. “Ah, Pamela, we’re at the destination, bitch. I just want you to open the doors.”

“Please state your destination.”

Archie didn’t like the sound of that. He ran his hand along the door, looking for a handle, thinking he’d find his own way out. There had to be a manual backup, right? In case you were in the car and the battery went dead and you had to escape?

Or in case it was on fire.

No, no way. There was no way he saw that. His fingers found what felt like a handle on the backside of a piece of trim. Archie gripped it and pulled.

“Yowzer!” Archie shouted.

Nick spun around. Rory said, “What?”

“I got a fucking shock!” Archie said.

“What are you talking about?” Nick asked.

“I grabbed the handle so I could open the door myself and I got shocked. What the hell?”

“Pamela,” Nick said, his voice getting shaky, “I really need you to open the door. Was it the bitch thing? If so, I’d like to apologize.”

“Please state your destination.”