Archie cackled. “You moron. It’s not Butt, Montana. It’s Butte, Montana, rhymes with cute.”

“Oh,” Rory said, his face flushing. “Are you sure?”

Archie rolled his eyes. “I think this explains your D in Geography.”

Nick quipped, “There is no D in Geography. I guess that’s why you suck at spelling.”

“I got one,” Archie said. “Let’s go to Intercourse.”

Rory blinked. “You’re kidding me. There’s no such place.”

Archie nodded. “You bet your ass there is. In Pennsylvania.”

“No way.”

Archie said to Nick, “Go ahead. Ask Pamela for some Intercourse.”

That got all three of them convulsing again. But Nick managed to calm down long enough to say, “Pamela, can you plot a course to Intercourse, Pennsylvania?”

“Calculating,” Pamela said.

“She’s probably building in time for a stop to pick up condoms,” Rory said.

“Depending on route selection,” Pamela said, “Intercourse, Pennsylvania, is between four hundred and nine miles, and four hundred and thirty miles, and will take between eight hours and nine minutes, and eight hours and thirty-eight minutes. But according to my calculations, a stop at a recharging station will need to be accommodated. Would you like me to choose a route where charging stations are located?”

“Uh, you know what, Pamela?” Nick said. “I’ve changed my mind. No Intercourse today.”

Archie was holding his stomach with both hands. Rory had tears running down his face. They were laughing so hard it took a moment before they realized a phone was ringing. Rory wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve and said to Archie, “That’s you, man.”

Archie composed himself as he dug into his pocket for his cell phone. When he saw who was calling, he cringed.

“My sister,” he said.

“Oooh, I like her,” Nick said. Archie glanced up from his phone long enough to shoot him a look. “I’m just stating a fact,” Nick said defensively.

The phone had rung six times. Archie had his finger poised over the button to accept the call while he had an inner debate about whether to take it.

After Archie’d taken off with his friends, Katie had stormed back into the house wondering what to do. She went into the kitchen and looked at the cell phone in her hand.

Should she call her mother? Rat out the little creep? God, Archie could be such an immense pain in the ass.

He didn’t use to be this bad. Before he turned twelve, he did what his mother told him, didn’t talk back to his sister. Well, not that much.

Then everything changed.