I felt the sting of his rejection mixing with the alcohol in my bloodstream. I knew he was out of my league. I didn’t know if he could give me love like the kind he wrote about, but it was clear he didn’t want to try. Today might have felt far removed from it, but this was a work trip. I needed to remind myself quickly of not only that but also the fact that Jake was keeping something from me. I had to stop myself from feeling any more drawn to him.

We lapsed into silence as the sun started to set on the horizon. Everyone on the rooftop watched the sky turning orange around us. It was beautiful, and a reminder that whatever happens in a day, it ends, and you get a chance to try again tomorrow.

‘Freya.’

I raised an eyebrow when Jake spoke my name after a few moments. My name had come out as a wistful sigh on his lips.

‘What I said earlier about things having to be professional between us. I want you to know: just because it has to, doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking all day about it not being professional.’

19

The walk back to the Waldorf Astoria was a quiet one. The sun continued to set as we finished our drinks on the rooftop in stunned silence. I had no idea what to say in response to Jake’s admission, and he seemed to regret his words, turning away and not saying anything else either. We then headed back towards our hotel as night time rolled over New York, the city lighting up around us.

My heart was beating faster and harder inside my chest as my mind replayed his words in time with our brisk steps. It was like we suddenly both just wanted to be in our hotel rooms alone to think about the day, so I hurried to keep up with his long strides, and wondered how awkward things would be between us now. His words made me nervous because of how pumped up I felt after hearing them, like I’d just drunk an energy drink or something. To know he had felt the same spark that I had was both a relief and a terrifying thought. Jake had always seemed completely out of my reach but suddenly, he was saying that he wasn’t.

I couldn’t make sense of it. I had no idea if I could trust it. Or him.

We walked into our hotel and to the lifts, waiting in silence and getting in one. The journey up to the floor where our rooms were seemed excruciatingly slow. I had no idea what to say to break the tension, and Jake seemed at just as much of a loss as me.

Finally, the lifts reached our floor and we stepped out and walked to our neighbouring hotel rooms.

‘Jake…’

‘Freya…’