Chapters (24)
Which wasn’t a lie. She really had no desire to go that far. But she still found it hard to stand her mother’s ridiculous misunderstanding.
Kokoro slapped her chopsticks and bowl down on the dining table with a clatter. She leapt up and ran out of the room.
‘Kokoro!’ her mother called. But Kokoro was already upstairs in her bedroom. She fell face down on the bed.
The mirror wasn’t shining at all now, and it made her resentful. She dreamed of going to the castle at night, going inside, and vanishing from her room.
Instead her mother was coming upstairs after her. ‘Listen, Kokoro.’ She heard footsteps on the landing. There was no escape.
She thought of the teacher at the alternative School, Ms Kitajima.
And what she’d said.
It’s not Kokoro-chan’s fault at all that she can’t go to school.
‘Kokoro.’ Her mother was outside the door. Kokoro got up.
The patterned paper napkin Aki had given her was lying on her desk. If her mother spotted it, she’d wonder where it came from.
She grabbed it and hid it under the bedclothes, crumpling it up.
She remembered the girls – Aki, and Fuka, how happy she’d been with the present. Regret welled up in Kokoro, and she felt like screaming.
Why couldn’t they just stop interfering, and let her go where she wanted?
‘Kokoro, I’m coming in,’ and her mother opened the door.
THE DAY AFTER SHE AND her mother had argued, Kokoro didn’t go to the castle.
Her mother apologized in an exaggeratedly gentle tone. ‘I’m really sorry about yesterday,’ she said. ‘I have no intention of criticizing how you spend your time. Coming home during the day wasn’t supposed to be an unscheduled inspection. I’m sorry if it seemed that way.’
Kokoro listened uneasily. ‘Um,’ she said.
‘I won’t be coming home during the day again,’ her mother said. ‘I won’t do anything to test you.’
Maybe she was acting on advice from Ms Kitajima, or someone else at the School? She sounded so understanding, so motherly.
Thinking it might be a trap, Kokoro spent the day at home. Whatever her mother might say, she could still be monitoring her.
She closed the curtains to block out the sunshine, and turned on the AC. She read a book, watched TV to pass the time. Outside she heard children on summer break playing in the park behind their house.
She ate the lunch her mother had prepared for her, and peeked through the curtains. Evening came, but still no sign of her mother.
She’d gone to the trouble of staying at home, but there hadn’t been any surprise visit.
She found that disappointing, and frustrating.
If she’d known, she would have gone to the castle.