He supposed that every day, on his swim, he was contemplating the simplicity that suicide would bring. When would the balance swing, was it just a question of time, before he would keep swimming, the weakness would take over, three times going under, life flashing before your eyes, who knows that one? And then, problem solved.

The puzzle of it all.

This was a routine; he never quite understood what it was that made him turn around and return to the shore. Maybe one day he would have the courage, no it wasn’t courage it would be what, weakness, no, not a direct opposite, it would be what, it would be being alone. That’s what would do it for him.

Being on his own forevermore, having lost the confidence in his ability to form, construct a life with someone.

He let the wave bring him onto the sand and he stumbled, he was on all fours, clumsily returning to the beach. The adoring sun dried his back in seconds and allowed the heat to warm him after the wet had gone. The sun had moved to the west, it was behind him as he walked past the jagged rusted remains of the shipwreck and it followed him up the twenty-four steps to the house where he hosed the sand off his feet and left the rest of his body salt-covered. Standing with the hose, experiencing his daily realisation that he was doing this action, again, that he was still here.

That he had swum back.

This time.

*

Pedro opened the smile of a front door and ushered two people inside.

They stood on the marble floor looking towards the ocean and the man who had just slid back the glass door to make his entrance. There was not a beat to count in the moment before the word bounced around the room.

‘Dada!’

Jacob ran, in bumpy, wobbly fashion, towards his father, who picked up his bundle of joy and hugged him to the salt on his body. There had been no time between them, it was all carrying on as if there had been no gap, no space, no physical separation. It was completely normal.

Clarissa stood motionless and could understand nothing.

She took in the world around her and it was beyond a word, a question, there was nothing she could say. Hello even refused to come out of her mouth. She stood, Pedro came in for the second time to complete the four-bag line-up inside the door; he understood the moment had stopped in time and that it was his moment to leave.

Clarissa would be waiting for an explanation and it would take a long time. Time to explain and time to understand, Ever sensed all this from Clarissa while she stood, emotionally in collapse at the door, which smiled behind her.

*

But they would have a long time.