One of the nursing aides rushes in. “Melody!” Sheila screams. “Shae is DEAD. Goodbye forever. We will never see her again.”

“I know, sweetie.” Melody gathers Sheila against her. They are practically the same height.

Hovering beside them, it hits me. At thirteen, Sheila is the size of a small adult. Shae was taller. A head taller, maybe. I can picture them, bobbing along the street side by side. What I picture next is Shae bobbing along by herself. In the dark, on the run … nope. In my mind’s eye, she’s still clearly a child.

Is it only because I knew her?

MELODY

We stand at the corner of Peach and VanBuren, fighting about the route we will take to school. Tina holds my right hand, Sheila holds my left. They are crying.

Sheila wants to take the same route because it’s our route, and patterns are important.

Tina doesn’t want to go by Shae’s building. It’s too sad.

“We can’t skip Shae,” Sheila cries.

I squeeze her hand. “You know she’s not there. We can go to her house, but she’s not going to come out.” The routine has changed. It will be an adjustment.

They sniffle. It’s too cold for this, and we’re gonna be late.

“Switch hands.” I shuffle their tiny selves around me. “Now, we’ll take our usual route but you can stand on the street side.” I shake Tina’s little hand. “And you can stand on the house side,” I tell Sheila.

“You can even close your eyes,” I tell Tina. She clusters against my side, and we make our way. But she does not close her eyes. She looks straight at the sidewalk. Sheila walks with her head up.

The steps of the building are decorated with all manner of tributes. Flowers wilting in the winter air, small stuffed animals, signs and cards and even balloons. My eyes sting.

“If we knock on the door, what will happen?” Sheila asks.

“We’d probably make her mommy sad,” I answer. “It’s already a really sad day.”

“When Tariq died, lots of people knocked on our door,” Tina says. “Sometimes it made Mommy stop crying.”

A weird little stab of old grief cuts through me. Tariq Johnson’s murder two years ago feels fresh again this morning. Probably to Tina most of all.

“We’d be late for school. Let’s say bye to Shae’s house and keep going.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

“On the way home, we can knock,” I tell them.

TINA

Saying goodbye usually means

you will get to say hello again

soon.

We shout it from the doorway

from the street

back and forth

until we can’t hear each other

anymore.

ROBB