She imagined a beam of white light shooting out of her forehead, an apology beam, charged with the notion I am so sorry, that traveled across town and crossed the river and roamed through the woods until it found the two guys and, having briefly paused above them because they looked so damned similar, entered the innocent one. Instantly he knew her. Knew her pain. Knew about Derek’s lung thing and how out of step he was with his classmates, how he sometimes went to school with a stuffed bear in his shirt pocket, as if he thought that was a good look, poor dear, and the thing was, knowing her this completely, it all made sense to the guy. And there it was: forgiveness. That’s what forgiveness was. He was her. Being her, he got it all, saw just how the whole thing had happened.

How could he be mad at her when he was her?

A green forgiveness beam shot out of his forehead and flew back over the town, charged with the notion To tell the truth, I never expected much from life anyway, and, given all the crap that’s happened to me, most of which I caused, a slight limp is, believe me, the least of my worries. Plus, the pain is making me really attentive to every moment.

The beam entered the car, hung there near the glove compartment.

Although I do have one request, it said.

Go ahead, she thought kindly.

Forgive my cousin, the beam said. As I have forgiven you.

Oh, brother. In a pig’s ass.

Like that was happening.

Someday, maybe. Although probably not. She didn’t have that in her. Just didn’t. She hated that jerk. And always would.

You forgave Ricky, the beam said.

Your guy’s no Ricky, she said.

Ricky was worse, the beam said.

Well, she said. If you knew Ricky.

If you knew my cousin, the beam said.

Anyway, it was all bullshit. There was no beam. She was just making it up with her mind.

You are trapped in you, the beam said.

Yeah, well, who isn’t? she thought.

For some reason, the flock of geese was now passing back overhead, headed in the opposite direction.

That’s really the problem, though, isn’t it? she thought.

Yes, the beam said.

She could see Keith moving around in the kitchen.