“If you were in my position, would you deal with him?”

“You’re smart enough to know that’s a meaningless question.”

“No it’s not. Just imagine you were in the same situation I’m in.”

“You’re asking me what kind of decision I’d make if I weren’t me—with my background, my feelings, my thoughts, my family, my priorities, my life. Don’t you see? My life couldn’t possibly put me in your position. It’s a nonsensical statement.”

She blinked, looked perplexed. “What are you so angry about?”

That question took him by surprise. She was right. He was angry. It would be easy to say that amoral reptiles like Getz made him angry, that the transformation of the news media from relatively harmless information sources into cynical engines of polarization made him angry, that turning murder into “reality” entertainment made him angry. But he knew enough about himself to know that external reasons for his anger were often excuses for internal ones.

A wise man had once told him, Anger is like a buoy on the surface of the water. What you think you’re angry about is only the tip of the issue. You have to follow the chain all the way down in order to discover what it’s attached to, what’s holding it in place.

He decided to follow the chain. He turned to Kim. “Why did you bring me to that meeting?”

“I explained that to you.”

“You mean I was there to look over your shoulder? To observe?”

“And to give me your perspective on what you saw, on how I handled things.”

“I can’t evaluate your performance if I don’t know what your goal was.”

“I didn’t have a goal.”

“Really?”

She turned toward him. “Are you calling me a liar?”

“Watch your driving.” His voice was stern, parental.

When she looked back at the road, he continued. “How come Rudy Getz doesn’t know you only hired me for one day? How come he thinks I’m more involved in this thing than I really am?”

“I don’t know. It’s not because of anything I said.” Her lips tightened.

Gurney had the impression she was trying not to cry. He said calmly, “I want to know the whole story. I want to know why I’m here.”