“No,” Archie said, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat and took a breath. “No,” he said again. He needed to make her understand. His body might betray him when it came to Gretchen, but his mind was clear. But it wasn’t enough for Susan. That was evident. She was looking at him with tears in her eyes. He’d seen the same wounded frustration on Debbie’s face. That was Gretchen’s weapon. He could recover physically, he could give up pills, but he would never be better. “I don’t get to have a life without her,” he said to Susan. He shrugged helplessly. He couldn’t fight the truth anymore. He was too worn-out. “She can find me anytime. She is there. Even when I think I’m alone. She’ll never let me go.” The words hung in the room. “That’s what this was about. That’s what she wanted me to know.” He said it again: “She will never let me go.” He forced himself to hold Susan’s gaze, hoping she understood what he was trying to say. “And she sent you that message because she wanted to make sure you knew it, too.”

Didn’t Susan see it? Gretchen had figured out what Archie had worked so hard to keep from Susan. She knew how much he cared for Susan, and she was taking proactive measures to eliminate the possibility of anything happening between them.

Susan balled up the thread in her hands and flung it on the couch cushion. “You know what I think?” she asked. “I think you cheated on your wife. It ended up blowing up in your face. And you’re still beating yourself up for it.”

Archie’s head hurt. “I think I’ve paid for that,” he said.

“You’re not still punishing yourself?” Susan asked.

“For that?” Archie said. “No.”

“Then why don’t you tell people about the affair?” Susan asked. “You’re divorced. I’m not talking about sending out a press release. I mean tell the people on your team. Tell the people running the manhunt. Tell them you had an affair with Gretchen Lowell and that it was a mistake and you regret it. It’s part of the story, isn’t it? It colors her motivations. Maybe you can help them understand her better so they can catch her. You didn’t know she was the Beauty Killer. She seduced you. Everyone would understand that.”

Would understand what? That he was a heel? That he’d lied to all of them, then and now? That he’d deserved everything that had happened to him? Archie lifted a hand to his temple.

“That’s insane,” Henry said from the window. “You don’t have to do that,” he added to Archie.

“I don’t think he can move on until it’s out in the open,” Susan said.