Sebastian followed his lead. He went to one knee, which caused dizziness to scramble his senses. He hadn’t had enough sleep or food. Cold radiated from her marker into his hand.

He prayed for long minutes, doing his best to forgive God.

I forgive you, he repeated numerous times.

At some point, he finally started to mean it.

You could have saved my mom, but I forgive you for taking her.

He pushed the knuckle of his free hand across his eyes because he was crying.

Can you forgive me? he asked God.

Yes, came the immediate answer.

When he finally stood, his chest felt hollowed out, his body shaky. Yet something stable had taken root within him in the place where his anger and insecurity had been living.

Ben pressed to his feet. “What motivated you to come here today?”

“Leah and I broke up.”

“I figured,” Ben said. “Who broke up with whom?”

“I broke up with her.”

“Because?”

“Because I couldn’t . . . handle it.”

Ben took his measure, his face grim. “Remember when I gave you the go-ahead to date Leah, and I told you not to insult her or me by keeping her at arm’s length?”

“Yes.”

“So?”

“She broke a promise to me.”

“You’re going to have to accept that no human being is going to be perfect enough to heal your scars.”

Sebastian set his teeth together.

“How much do you want Leah in your life?” Ben asked.

“More than I’ve wanted anything.”

“Then open yourself up to her.”

Sebastian didn’t answer.

“We all have to risk ourselves if we’re going to earn the reward of a genuine relationship,” Ben said. “You’re not the only one.”

“If I love her and lose her, it will gut me.”

“If you love her? If?” Ben asked, incredulous. “You already love her, you idiot.”

Ben’s words hit him twice as hard as Claire’s dad had yesterday.

Because of course he did.

He loved her.

And had for a long time.

“Since the ship that would enable you not to love her has already sailed,” Ben continued, “all you can do now to save yourself from being gutted is convince her to give you a second chance. Then channel all that famous determination of yours into putting her interests and her well-being ahead of your own.”

Sebastian’s brain spun.

“Show her how you feel and tell her how you feel every day,” Ben said. “For the rest of your life.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

An hour later, Leah arrived at Tess and Rudy’s cabin.

Tess greeted her warmly, and Leah entered an interior she knew well. Walls of honey-colored wood complemented Southwest-style area rugs inspired by the Native American history of the region.