Don’t say good night

she says, she says

Why don’t you come inside

she says, she says

I can change your mind

or time can change your mind for you

Anders flies into the guitar solo. His fingers tear at the strings. Fast. It’s always fast. But tonight the tempo feels a little higher, the motions more elaborate, the beat a little harder. It’s on the very edge of impossible.

Patrick, behind the drums, already glitters with sweat.

Just walk me home

Just walk me home and I’ll be warm

Just walk me home and I’ll be warm

They move straight from “Dead Girl” to “Deep Water,” then to “Cutting Edge.” “Shadow Tag.” “Minotaur.” The songs fly like bullets aimed at something we can’t see. Jezz and Patrick look focused, taut, buried in the music. Anders looks like a burning fuse.

The last strains of “Minotaur” rip through the room.

The audience roars.

Anders halts, swaying back and forth, both hands clenching the guitar. Patrick and Jezz watch him. They’re waiting for the signal, the title of the next song.

But Anders doesn’t speak to them.

He speaks into the microphone instead.

“Hey,” he says, deep and quiet.

The crowd screams back.

They never do this. He never does this.

He goes on, over screams that don’t stop.

“I’m going to try something,” Anders says, in that same slow, deep voice. “Something we haven’t done before. This is called ‘Devil’s Due.’”

I see surprise flicker on Patrick’s face. He and Jezz trade a look. Then, like everyone else, they stare at Anders again.

Anders positions his fingers on the guitar’s neck. He says something over his shoulder to Patrick. Patrick gives a nod. He starts a plain, rapid beat. Jezz backs up, taking his bass to the dark at the edge of the stage.

Anders begins to play.

I haven’t heard this intro before. It’s winding and quick, with a jagged, forward force, almost like staggering footsteps. I haven’t heard it during band practice or when Anders plays in his room late at night. In an instant I know why.

Because it didn’t exist before.

Anders has never played it, never even imagined it, until this moment. It’s coming out of him. Coming through him. Coming straight at us.

Holding on

Holding on to the only sound

the sound of your heartbeat

Breathing in

Breathing in before everything

everything crashes down

And you are not

You are not who I’m waiting for

I can’t lie to you anymore

Should have gotten to me before

before it was too late for

Afterthoughts

That’s all I’ve got

A fistful of regret

But regret is not a reckoning

Don’t forgive me

Don’t forget

Falling in

Falling into the dark again

again I am lost and

Getting close

Getting close to the end of it

the end of it all

And this is not

This is not what I meant to say

but who’s listening anyway

Who’s hearing the songs you play

beneath all the noise and