‘Fuck off, Amit,’ I say, holding out my palm so he can’t get any closer. ‘Seriously.’

‘Mate, I know you love this stuff. Watch it, it’s nuts. It’s been doing the rounds all week.’

‘I don’t want to see that shit. Get it away from me.’

He turns the screen so he can see it, watching and chuckling as the video plays out. ‘You’ve given up porn?’ he says. ‘Even the funny stuff? There really is something wrong with you.’

I haven’t given up watching porn. Of course I haven’t. Most nights, it’s the only thing intense enough to overrule all the other stuff that whizzes round my head, the only thing vivid enough to etch itself into my imagination. Without it, I might never sleep at all. There was a time – years ago – when just the normal stuff, two people getting it on, would excite me, turn me on with guilt. But it got boring. Maybe it’s like that for everyone. Perhaps that’s what the daily video swapping is all about; if the really humiliating shit gets shared for laughs, we can all return to our bedrooms, imagining that our own special interests aren’t weird at all. When I watch group porn, the orgies, the violent stuff, I think of what flies round the classroom, and it makes my own tastes seem almost innocent.

‘I get it – you’ve seen it already,’ Amit says, grinning.

‘Don’t bait me, Amit.’

He steps backwards, shocked at my tone.

‘I know exactly what else you’ve got on that phone,’ I tell him.

‘What are you chatting about?’

He knows what I mean.

‘Get it away from me.’

‘All right, mate. All right.’ He shakes his head and lets his phone drop into his bag.

‘Just go.’

He turns towards the door, but stops.

‘This is crazy,’ he says, walking back. He thrusts his hand out and holds it centimetres from me. ‘Shake my hand, Morky.’

‘Get away from me.’

I stare at his fingers, splayed wide and shaking. I’m already backed into the corner. I can’t get any further away.

‘Why can’t I have my best friend back?’ he says.

‘You ruined it, Amit. Not me.’

His hand drops to his side. ‘Why would you even say something like that?’

I almost laugh. This is how they try to break you. Me and Sophia, we talk about it all the time. If enough people tell you you’re wrong, if they do it often enough, you start believing them.

He steps backwards and collapses into the low chair on the opposite side of the room. ‘Tell me what I’m supposed to have done then. Can you do that? Can you do it without chatting crap? I bet you can’t.’