Chapters (44)
- Cover
- About the Author
- Dedication
- 4.52 a.m.
- 5.11 a.m.
- 6.29 a.m.
- 7.19 a.m.
- Showcase
- 7.55 a.m.
- 8.24 a.m.
- 8.44 a.m.
- Sophia
- 10.14 a.m.
- Together, Alone
- 11.38 a.m.
- Extracurricular Activities
- 12 p.m.
- This is Me
- 12.42 p.m.
- The Past’s Future
- The Bluesman’s Hat
- 12.57 p.m.
- The Backlash
- A Walk in the Small Hours
- 1.13 p.m.
- The Debris
- 1.35 p.m.
- Checkmate
- 1.57 p.m.
- The Normal
- Nerves
- 2.16 p.m.
- Ollie Morcombe’s Little Stunt
- 2.29 p.m.
- 2.39 p.m.
- 2.48 p.m.
- 2.59 p.m.
- 3.04 p.m.
- 3.11 p.m.
- 3.17 p.m.
- Order
- And Home
- Acknowledgements
- THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
We’re all standing out on the field, me in the centre with arms crossed like I own the place, everyone else gathered round and behind. It used to be on the classroom wall, but was defaced so heavily in recent months that it was removed. Mr Clark has scrubbed away most of the embellishments, but still some of the many cocks, balls and pubes added to my likeness remain biro-etched into the paper.
‘You were so popular, Ollie. The vote was damn near unanimous as I recall. Poor old Craig Lowe came nowhere.’
I look at the photo again, try to see beyond the remnants of their alterations. None of the faces bears a single hint of the malice I see every day now. Nate Mackie’s hand rests on my right shoulder. Joey does a Usain Bolt in my direction.
‘Look at you and Amit,’ he says. ‘Joined at the hip as always.’
Maybe it’s just a trick of perspective, but I look bigger than all of them. For a split second, I’m back there, lining up on an autumn morning, the smiles genuine, my laughter part of theirs.
‘Things change,’ I mumble, returning it to him.
‘They can change back.’ He squints at me. ‘Think about it.’
‘Think about what?’
‘Maybe you could try to make amends? These aren’t bad guys, Ollie. Last day, fresh start, as they say.’
I’ve no idea who says that. ‘What have I done, sir?’ My voice has none of the assertiveness it had when I formed the question in my head. It sounds barely more than a whimper. ‘Why would I be making up with them?’
He pretends to shuffle his pile of papers. ‘How can we put this, Ollie? I’m just saying – and do forgive me – that no one likes to have tales told on them all the time. Perhaps sometimes I do understand a couple of the boys’ … frustrations.’
The wrench of injustice twists at my gut. Every conversation with him leads here. I stare at my shoes as they grind into the shiny brown puddle of worn-through lino beneath me.
‘I did speak to Mr Farley the other week, Ollie. Like I said I would. He only confirmed what I expected. That no one was anywhere near you.’
‘He’s a fucking liar as well,’ I whisper to the floor.
‘Ollie,’ he says, raising his eyebrows, ‘I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.’