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Contents (27)
  1. LADY BALTIMORE
  2. By Owen Wister
  3. LADY BALTIMORE
  4. I: A Word about My Aunt
  5. II: I Vary My Lunch
  6. III: Kings Port Talks
  7. IV: THE GIRL BEHIND THE COUNTER—I
  8. V: The Boy of the Cake
  9. VI: In the Churchyard
  10. VII: The Girl Behind the Counter—II
  11. VIII: Midsummer-Night's Dream
  12. IX: Juno
  13. X: High Walk and the Ladies
  14. XI: Daddy Ben and His Seed
  15. XII: From the Bedside
  16. XIII: The Girl Behind the Counter—III
  17. XIV: The Replacers
  18. XV: What She Came to See
  19. XVI: The Steel Wasp
  20. XVII: Doing the Handsome Thing
  21. XVIII: Again the Replacers
  22. XIX: Udolpho
  23. XX: What She Wanted Him For
  24. XXI: Hortense's Cigarette Goes Out
  25. XXII: Behind the Times
  26. XXIII: Poor Aunt Carola!
  27. XXIV: Post Scriptum

No, not peace; quiet, merely; the girl at the counter now proceeded to grow indignant with me. We were alone together, we two; no young man, or any other business, occupied her or protected me. But if you suppose that she made war, or expressed rage by speaking, that is not it at all. From her counter in front to my table at the back she made her displeasure felt; she was inaudibly crushing; she did not do it even with her eye, she managed it—well, with her neck, somehow, and by the way she made her nose look in profile. Aunt Carola would have embraced her—and I should have liked to do so myself. She could not stand the idea of my having, after all these days of official reserve that she had placed between us, startled her into that rush to the door annihilated her dignity at a blow. So did I finish my sandwiches beneath her invisible but eloquent fire. What affair of mine was the cake? And what sort of impertinent, meddlesome person was I, shrieking out my suggestions to people with whom I had no acquaintance? These were the things that her nose and her neck said to me the whole length of the Exchange. I had nothing but my own weakness to thank; it was my interest in weddings that did it, made me forget my decorum, the public place, myself, everything, and plunge in. And I became more and more delighted over it as the girl continued to crush me. My day had been dull, my researches had not brought me a whit nearer royal blood; I looked at my little bill-of-fare, and then I stepped forward to the counter, adventurous, but polite.

"I should like a slice, if you please, of Lady Baltimore," I said with extreme formality.

I thought she was going to burst; but after an interesting second she replied, "Certainly," in her fit Regular Exchange tone; only, I thought it trembled a little.

I returned to the table and she brought me the cake, and I had my first felicitous meeting with Lady Baltimore. Oh, my goodness! Did you ever taste it? It's all soft, and it's in layers, and it has nuts—but I can't write any more about it; my mouth waters too much.

Delighted surprise caused me once more to speak aloud, and with my mouth full. "But, dear me, this Is delicious!"

A choking ripple of laughter came from the counter. "It's I who make them," said the girl. "I thank you for the unintentional compliment." Then she walked straight back to my table. "I can't help it," she said, laughing still, and her delightful, insolent nose well up; "how can I behave myself when a man goes on as you do?" A nice white curly dog followed her, and she stroked his ears.

"Your behavior is very agreeable to me," I remarked.

"You'll allow me to say that you're not invited to criticise it. I was decidedly put out with you for making me ridiculous. But you have admired my cake with such enthusiasm that you are forgiven. And—may I hope that you are getting on famously with the battle of Cowpens?"