“We have a consultation starting in five minutes, Ms. Lurie. Please sign the document so we can lodge it with the court before five o’clock.”

“Unable to assist me.”

“Ms. Lurie, we’re all very busy. I have to insist that you sign.”

I sign on the allocated line.

When I straighten up, everyone is smiling. The attorney Gregory Marriot looks delighted. I understand for the first time how important my testimony is to their case, and how relieved they are to have it.

They shake my hand one by one and thank me for my contribution.

“This will probably be the end of it, but we’ll let you know if the state wants to take it any further,” says Abigail Nkabinde as she walks me to the lift.

It is only as the lift doors are about to close that I hear sounds of consternation from the consultation room.

“Mickey Mouse. It says Mickey Mouse.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“She didn’t sign it properly.”

“Get her back in here.”

* * *

L. BASCOMBE: You signed a sworn affidavit as Mickey Mouse rather than admit that you weren’t comfortable signing it.

ME: I didn’t plan it. Right up until the moment my pen touched paper, I believed I was going to sign my name.

L. BASCOMBE: And then?

ME: I don’t know what happened. I found myself writing Mickey Mouse. It was as though someone had taken over my body.

L. BASCOMBE: Automatism is a myth perpetuated by people who are too weak to take responsibility for their own actions.

ME: Right.

L. BASCOMBE: You made a conscious decision to ruin the defence’s case. Own it, Lucy. Accept responsibility for your actions. And then explain to me why you would do such a thing to your own father. He was counting on you to make a statement that helped his case.

ME: I know he was. And I still haven’t done anything to hinder his case. The net effect of my actions is zero. All that has happened is that I’ve made no statement at all.

L. BASCOMBE: In a case like this, that is just as bad as making a statement against him. He needs your testimony. The absence of it is the equivalent of an accusation against him. In fact, it’s worse. At least if you made a statement against him, his lawyers could cross-examine you on it. They could poke holes in your testimony and expose its weaknesses. Now you’re leaving them with nothing to attack. I call that unfair.

ME: I’m a bad daughter, I know.

L. BASCOMBE: After everything your father has done for you.

ME: I know.

L. BASCOMBE: Don’t sit there bleating, “I know.” You need to put this right. Go to the lawyers and tell them you’re prepared to sign the affidavit. It’s the only way to make amends.

ME: I don’t want to.

L. BASCOMBE: What? Why not?