ME: It’s weird. My brother’s room is the same. We all live in the same town. I’m not going to pop over and stay for the weekend.

NOAH: Yeah, I don’t have that excuse. My parents live in Maine.

ME: How the fuck did you end up here?

NOAH: Got on a raft off the Maine coast and drifted down like an explorer.

ME: You’re funny.

NOAH: That’s sarcastic, isn’t it?

ME: Hey, look at that. It CAN translate over text.

NOAH: LOL. I went to school in Charleston. Went home for a year and got pissed off with all the snow, so came back. Moved around a few times until I found somewhere I liked.

ME: Did you move to Creek Falls or nearby?

NOAH: Creek Falls. About six months ago. Which is when I started dating.

ME: I’d ask you how that’s going, but I already know it’s not very well.

NOAH: Ha!

NOAH: I work a lot. There’s always overtime available and I want to do work to my house, so I take it.

Was I… talking to someone who had their shit together? Holy hell.

ME: Wow. A guy who sends dick pics but actually has a career and a house.

NOAH: And sometimes makes bad decisions… Like sending a dick pic.

ME: We can’t all be perfect.

NOAH: Truth. Are you still on bed rest?

ME: Medically, no. Unofficially, yes.

NOAH: I’m sure she means well.

ME: She tried to wear latex pants to church today. She’s eighty. Eighty-year-old women who wear latex pants do not mean well.

NOAH: I guess it depends if you’re into eighty-year-old women who wear latex pants.

ME: If you tell me that you are…

NOAH: Will I break your heart?

ME: Totally shatter it. I may never recover from the pain.

NOAH: Tell me how you really feel.

ME: You really don’t want to hear that.

NOAH: Kinda do. It can’t be worse than me finding eight pairs of boxers under the cushion in my dog’s bed.

ME: …I don’t know what to say to that.

NOAH: There isn’t really anything anyone can say to it.

ME: True.

ME: Okay, fine.

ME: I’m fed up of being in bed. There’s nothing physically wrong with me. My mom is already insisting I speak to someone for my “mental” problems she’s sure I’m going to have. Nobody listens to me when I say I feel okay. I had to beg for thirty minutes earlier to take a shower. The purple walls in this bedroom are starting to give me a headache and if I don’t leave this house tomorrow, I’m going to have a meltdown.

NOAH: …I have an idea.

ME: What?

NOAH: What if I come over tomorrow? I saved your life, there’s no way they can deny me taking you for lunch.

ME: If you’re asking me on a date, you’re not being very clear.

NOAH: Reagan, you were just in a fire. I’m not asking you on a date. I’m simply trying to break you out of your prison for an hour or so.