Raking my fingers through my hair, I groan. “What would I possibly benefit from making you look like a fool, Aida? Please enlighten me. And have you ever thought for one fucking moment that maybe not everything is about you?”

“You’re unbelievable. That’s really nice. Not about me? That’s fine.”

“It was an award for me. How would me receiving it be about you? How about for once you be happy for me, Aida. Be proud of me.”

“You know what? I don’t have to deal with this. I’m going to bed.” With that, she stomps up the stairs, leaving me utterly flabbergasted. I’d rather have the fucking silence than this. I hate how much it stings, that after all this time, she can’t even be happy for me or be proud of me. Regardless of the state of our marriage, if the roles were reversed, I’d be happy for her.

I pour myself a glass of whiskey before going to my office. Sitting down at my desk, I pull out my phone, remembering that Cash sent me a text when I was in the car.

Cash: Congratulations on your award, Stone. That’s a huge accomplishment.

I’m speechless.

It’s pathetic how vastly different Cash and Aida are. I shouldn’t be comparing them, but right now, with how angry I am, it’s hard not to. My own wife can’t even be bothered to congratulate me, but Cash, who learned about the award months ago when the dean announced it, not only remembered, but took the time to congratulate me.

Rereading his text with tears blurring my vision, I attempt to swallow over the lump in my throat. Seeing such a simple gesture, and how it makes me feel, just shows how hopeless me and Aida are. How did we let ourselves get to this point? We’re unhappy, trapped in a loveless marriage, and we both deserve more. We deserve the random text messages that make you smile like a fool, or the longing stares filled with so much passion it makes your breath catch in your throat, or the heart racing, skin tingling feeling you get when you’re near them—the can’t sit still, can’t think straight feeling.

The feelings I haven’t felt from her in ages, and if I had to guess, I’d say she feels the same.

Me: Thank you, Cash. That means a lot. Enjoy your winter break.

The next couple of weeks for me are spent soul searching. Really figuring out what I want in life and what I just don’t want to deal with. Aida and I don’t speak the entire break. Even on Christmas. It was the most depressing Christmas I’ve had in a long time. I FaceTimed Molly in the morning and spent the evening sloshed in my office feeling sorry for myself.