My feelings for him were so strong, and I knew exactly what I wanted… until everything fucking changed, and my world shattered in the blink of an eye. The guilt, the self-loathing, all of it. I did what I thought was the right thing at the time. In hindsight, who fucking knows if it was right.

I bring my glass up to my lips, pouring a generous amount into my mouth. The burn going down helps ground me. Helps bring me back to the present. “You like being back in Texas?” I ask, sounding far more confident than I feel.

“I do. It’s nice being in the same state as my folks again, even though I haven’t been able to visit them yet. Knowing I can is comforting.”

“Alright, y’all.” Our server walks toward our table with a huge plate of loaded nachos in her hand. “Here’s the food. Looks so dang good! Can I get y’all refills?”

I say, “Sure,” at the same time Cash says, “Yes, please.” We both look at each other and laugh.

“Coming right up.”

The nachos taste as good as they smell… good God, they’re fucking delicious. A silence blankets us while we eat, but it isn’t tense or awkward, it’s comfortable. When I grab another chip, his gaze locks on my hand… my left hand that is missing a very specific piece of jewelry. Yet he still doesn’t say anything. He just clears his throat, his eyes finding mine, before eating another chip.

We make small talk after a while, laughing and joking, as our server brings us another round. By the time we’re done with the plate of nachos, I’m feeling loose and completely relaxed. I can’t remember the last time I laughed this much.

It’s almost eight by the time we finish and pay. I don’t want the night to be over already… I would give anything to prolong it, but even getting him to do this was huge. I can’t push it.

“Wanna smoke before we head out?” he asks me. He stands, stretching his hands over his head, and fuck me. His shirt rides up and my gaze falls to his tan skin and the dark happy trail leading into his jeans. He clears his throat, and my eyes snap up to meet his.

Yeah… he fucking saw that. Shit.

“Uh, sure..” Getting to my feet, I grab my helmet, then we make our way to the front door. It’s dark out by now, but the air is still warm. Feeling around my front and back pockets, I realize I don’t have my pack of smokes on me. I must’ve left them at the office.

“Shit, can I bum one off you? I think I left mine in my office.”