The thought of talking to him about all that makes me want to puke. Plus— “He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

She smiles softly, and if it were anyone other than her, I’d think it was a patronizing one. “Can you really blame him, Stone? He’s completely in the dark about what’s happened to you. For all he knows, you left because you decided to stay with your wife.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to work with him. Be his boss after everything.”

“Just take it one step at a time. If he doesn’t want to talk, you must respect that. If that changes, and he’s willing to sit down and talk with you, I think it would be helpful to both of you to fill him in. But it’s also important to keep in mind boundaries. You’re his boss, Stone.”

By the time I leave her office, I can’t decide if I feel better about things, or worse. It’s a warm evening, but the wind whipping my face while I ride home feels good, though. I walk through my front door a quarter after five, kicking off my boots, and setting my helmet down on the table.

I toss a pizza in the oven because I don’t feel like cooking. Once I grab a cold beer from the fridge, I plop down on the couch, pulling my phone out. The entire ride home, I tried to talk myself out of this. It’s fucking stupid, and I need to knock it off, but I can’t help it. Watching his life through social media makes me feel closer to him somehow—albeit it’s creepy as hell; it still helps the ache in my chest.

We didn’t run into each other yesterday or today, which makes sense. I’m sure he’s busy getting acclimated to his new class, with this week being his first actual teaching week. Thinking back to when he first became my aide. He was so nervous, which is completely unlike his normal personality. He wanted so badly to do well, to impress me, and to learn as much as he could. Cash is a sponge. He will pick up whatever knowledge you throw down and do it better than you ever could’ve imagined. He’s incredibly intelligent, and I always enjoyed working with him, even before all the feelings came into play.

When he told me his goal of becoming a professor, there was no doubt in my mind that he would achieve it. He’s driven, talented, and a great teacher. After all these years, I just never expected his goal to be achieved here.