“Weird. Maybe she likes you,” I retort as I dish up my plate.

“Shut up. This isn’t elementary school.”

“I’m just saying. Maybe see if she wants to hang out. With you both being new in town, maybe she just needs a friend.”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Well, let me know what happens there. My food’s done, so I’m gonna go.”

“Okay, I will. You too! Bye, Cash.”

Hanging up with her, I grab a beer from the fridge and sit down at the table. I’m trying this meal service that’s offered in my area. Since I’m living alone now, I don’t want to make entire meals only for myself. The company delivers ready to make meals with ingredients enough for one person. It’s convenient as hell, and so far, I’ve liked everything I’ve tried. It’s only been a few days, but whatever. Tonight is a baked ziti of sorts.

My mind is replaying every time I’ve seen Stone in the past week. Granted, it really hasn’t been much. I wasn’t lying to Kylie when I said his office is on the opposite side of campus as my classroom. I’ve had to go to the office a few times for administrative paperwork stuff, which luckily wasn’t with him, but someone from HR. I refused to look into his office when I walked by, despite feeling eyes on me.

It took me a long fucking time to get over what he did to me. If I’m being honest with myself, Kylie was probably right when she said I never really did fully get over it. But over time, I was able to not feel so gutted all the damn time. The summer before I started my graduate program was a dark time, which feels stupid to say, since we were never anything more than a dirty secret hidden behind the shadow of night. But dammit, we were meant to be more. We wanted that. He wanted that.

My feelings for him never made sense to me. I’ve dissected them hundreds of times over the years, and I always come up short. Why him? Why did I fall so hard, so fast, for him? What was it about him that made me feel like I was suffocating without him?

I’ll probably never know, and obsessing over it isn’t going to do me any good. We have to work together now, and I just have to steer clear, keep my head up, and deal with it like a fucking adult. I’m not a naïve college student anymore. I can’t go back down that road again.

No matter how fucking good he looks.

No matter how seeing him reminds me of the field, the stars, the long nights, and how those nights made me feel.