He almost looks emotional. “Tell me,” I say, and put my hand on his and squeeze it. The moment I do, I’m aware that it’s not a normal gesture. But before I can pull my hand away, he takes it in his. He holds it carefully, looking at it like it matters, and rubs his thumb over my fingers. Goose bumps run up my arm.

“I just wish we weren’t all in this mess,” he says, and looks up at me. “That you could have come here and we could have met…I don’t know what I wish. I’m just sorry, I guess, that all this is happening to you. You’re probably the happiest person in this place, and even though every time you turn around someone is attacking you, you still trust people. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand. But there is something beautiful about it.”

I smile at him. Did Ash just let his guard down with me? His eyes are as intense as ever, but in a very different way. My stomach flutters, and despite myself, I feel my cheeks get hot.

“My best friend always says that even when I’m down, I’m happy,” I tell him, and smile. “You never know how much time you have, so screw it—I’m going to live in every way I can. And the one thing I’ll never agree with is how you guys seem to push each other away. I don’t know what my life would be like without my best friend or my friends in general. I hope I have a thousand over my lifetime.”

“Best friend,” he repeats quietly to himself like I’ve just named some mythical creature. And I can’t help but wonder if he’s lonely under all his jokes and confidence. I want to pull him close and wrap my arms around him. But he gently lets go of my hand.

As he smiles at me, I can tell that something between us has changed, like he just made a decision to let me in a little. “Stand up,” he says, and I do.

“Now, get in the position you would use if you wanted to hit me.”

I smile. From heartfelt conversation to sparring in one beat. I step back with my right leg, put up my fists, and tuck my chin.

He nods at me, assessing my form. “You’ll notice that most people step back with their dominant leg and lead with their dominant arm when they hit you. Your stance isn’t bad. You’re protecting your organs by positioning yourself sideways, and your neck by keeping your chin tucked. But you’re too tense. And when you’re too tense, you can’t move fast enough. You need to be alert, but not so stiff that you can’t maneuver.”