“I think so.” The moment he buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply, he began to feel better. What they had couldn’t last, but he was going to enjoy it while he could. He needed to remind her not to count on too much from him, but he’d be a jerk to initiate that conversation on Christmas, which gave him a pass for the next two days. He would deal with reality later and continue to live in this bubble.

“You smell delicious,” he murmured as he began to kiss her neck.

“Are you sure it’s me and not the broccoli cheddar soup I’m making?”

He could smell that, too, although he hadn’t been able to identify what it was. “You’re making broccoli cheddar soup?”

“I am. And some dinner rolls.”

“From scratch?”

“Of course. You can’t be a Mennonite girl without learning a few things in the kitchen. I can make the best jelly you’ve ever tasted, mouthwatering pies, which is why I’m making two pecan pies to take to your mother’s tomorrow, and turkey and stuffing and gravy and...lots of stuff.”

“You’ve been holding out on me,” he said jokingly.

“I was channeling movie star Tia Beckett. But I realized Christmas calls for some of the skills I learned as Sarah Isaac.”

“Do you ever feel like two separate people?” he asked, lifting his head.

She nodded. “Sometimes.”

He thought about his childhood, the boy he’d been and the man he’d become. “So do I.”

“Which person do you like better?” she asked.

“Definitely this one. You?”

“I miss some things about my life back then. The simplicity. The safety. Thinking my parents and those around me had the answers to life’s toughest questions. Being able to rely on a whole community to come to my aid, if necessary. It can be colder and harsher and lonelier on the outside. But...”

“What?”

“I think this version of me is better. At least I don’t feel pressure to conform or try to believe something I can’t.” She suddenly let go of him. “I’d better stir the soup so it doesn’t scorch on the bottom.”

Reluctantly, he let her go and was surprised to find a small Christmas tree on one of Maxi’s expensive tables when he walked into the living room. “Where did this come from?”

“I saw a tree lot on the way home and had to stop. But that’s probably silly, right? It was sort of impulsive.”

“It’s not silly at all. Are you going to decorate it?” he asked.

“I don’t have anything to decorate it with. I’ve never done the whole Christmas thing, but this year I... I don’t know... I sort of felt like trying it. Maybe it’s part of letting go of Sarah Isaac and more fully embracing who I’ll be in the future.”