“Nice day for a duel,” Dad notes, appraising the lovely blue sky. He’s right. I knew something was different, but until now, I couldn’t pinpoint what. All the snow’s melted, not an icicle or snow fortress in sight, just greenish-brown grass.

“Did you stop making it snow?” I whisper to Hall, who pulls out his phone and begins to tap on the screen. The phone has no logo, so it must be magic-made.

“I’ve got the most horrendous data plan,” he declares loudly. “Oh, look!” He chuckles, waving the phone about. “Right back on LinkedIn! Typical. The stocks are at it again.”

Jake swings his sword.

“Aghh!” we all scream.

“No! You leave him alone! You leave my baby be!” Mom tries to throw herself at Jake, but Dad and Grandma hold her back.

Grandma needs the excitement. Athena used her tea for homemade facials, and she’s been in a rotten mood ever since. “Let’s just see how this plays out.”

“The tips are capped with rubber, don’t worry,” Dad reassures everybody as Felix whines, “I’m not a baby.” He grudgingly picks up his sword, poking its tip to ensure that it is indeed rubber.

“So, what?” Felix yells at Jake, at Marilou, at a cat walking by. Definitely at the small clump of grass that trips him up. He kicks it in retribution. “If Jake wins, are you leaving me for him?”

“No.”

“But you flew him here specifically to fight me?”

“That’s right.” Her voice darkens as Jake takes another swing, and Felix’s eyes bug out. “Look alive, Felix.”

It is dawning on my brother that this is happening.

“No crotch shots!” he entreats. “And no face stuff. My face is expensive.”

“Mine’s insured for thirty grand,” Athena tells us all.

Jake is agreeable. “Yeah, it’d be cool if you left my calves alone, too. My wife is super into my calves.”

“You’re married?” Felix sputters. “For fuck’s—then why are you—? Bunny! I don’t understand why you’re going about this like this.”

“Don’t you Bunny me,” Marilou spits. “Your right to call me nicknames is on hold. What are you, drunk? Lift your arm higher! Fight, you idiot!”

“I’m not drunk, I’m hungover,” he grumbles, dodging Jake. Jake moves with easy grace, bright-eyed, cheerful. As if dueling an ex-girlfriend’s husband is a regular activity for him. He whistles as he passes the sword back and forth from hand to hand, ambidextrous. Grandma claps. Dad is visibly wondering where he went wrong in parenting.

Felix plays defense only. He has no strategy for offense, bleary-eyed, hair a mess, bags under his eyes. That midnight eggnog is catching up.

“You’re supposed to be the normal one!” I exclaim to Marilou. So all the time that she’s been here, she’s known what he did? And she’s just been saving her fury for when Jake arrived? I have to admire her restraint.

Her eyes narrow on my brother, watching him swerve and duck. “He promised to stop responding to Callista’s attempts to contact him, and I thought he could use a wake-up call.”