He had never even put kissing on his mental table, so it was no stretch to take it off. Kissing Evie Bird? It would be like snogging a cold stone statue.

‘Or ass-grabbing,’ she says.

Duke sets his mouth in a firm line and furrows his brow.

‘Absolutely not,’ he agrees, trying not to give his internal monologue away. Arse-grabbing? He’d no sooner make a move on her like that than he would put his hand into a viper’s nest. Still. Saying all this out loud is obviously calming her down about it all, and so listening is the least he can do.

‘Hand-holding should last no more than a minute, but two at most.’

Duke bites his cheek to keep from smiling, now. ‘It would be borderline foreplay to pass sixty seconds. I agree.’

‘Can you take this seriously?’ she says. ‘I’m trying to keep this strictly business so there’s no … well, God, that’s a contradiction in terms, isn’t it? Keep a fauxmance professional. Jesus. We’re really doing this?’

‘If it’s any consolation,’ Duke tells her, ‘I’m not exactly over the moon myself.’

‘No need to be rude about it,’ says Evie.

Duke startles. ‘How am I being rude? You just said the same thing!’

‘You didn’t have to agree so readily,’ she says, pouting.

God, this is going to be a rough ride. The woman doesn’t even make sense half the time. Duke can’t keep up.

‘No kissing, no arse-grabbing, hand-holding for less time than it takes to microwave a frozen jacket potato. It’s all logged,’ he tells her, tapping his temple.

‘What do you know about cooking frozen jacket potatoes?’ she asks. ‘Did you come across something like that when you were researching civilians?’

She spits that last word, and Duke realises he used it as a turn of phrase earlier.

‘I didn’t mean anything by that,’ Duke says. ‘I’m sorry if that offended you.’

‘I’d have to care about what you say or think to be offended.’ Evie shrugs.

‘Ouch. I think that just hurt my feelings.’

In response Evie raises an eyebrow, unmoved.

‘I do have one personal question,’ he says, knowing she’s liable to throw something at his head for it. She blinks. ‘If you have a boyfriend, or girlfriend, or whatever …’

‘I don’t,’ she says, quickly.

‘Oh,’ says Duke. It’s not like this surprises him, Little Miss Sunshine being single, but he had to check.

‘If you did, I was just going to say they’d need a heads up. Just thinking ahead.’

‘Your concern for my love life is crossing a line,’ Evie says.

‘Right.’ Duke nods. ‘Let’s just move on? Anything else you want to say other than don’t touch you, don’t look at you, don’t try and make the best of it?’