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Back Just for December Save as PDF
Chapters (54)
  1. Cover
  2. PRAISE FOR LAURA JANE WILLIAMS
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. Acknowledgements
  50. Publishing Credits
  51. Keep Reading …
  52. About the Author
  53. Fiction by the same author
  54. About the Publisher

‘No, Derrick,’ she says, using his real name. ‘No. Is that what you really think …?’ And now her tears are falling harder, and faster, and she reaches out a hand across the coffee table and Duke looks at it, and then takes it. He grips her tight, and then stands up to hug her, because even if he can’t trust her, he believes in this moment. He believes that she’s really here. He’s needed her here for so long. Better late than never, maybe. He doesn’t know what comes next, in the future, but he can hug her now if that’s all they have.

They stay like that, his mother sat, Duke leaning down over the table, arms wrapped around each other, crying and letting it all out. They’re probably quite the sight, but what can be done? Emotion can’t be timed, can’t be neatly arranged to be convenient.

It might be five minutes they stay like that; it could be ten or fifteen, but eventually the crying stops. Duke sits back down and takes a big gulp of water. He feels purged. Tired.

‘I don’t know what happens now,’ he tells her. ‘I don’t know what I want to happen next.’

His mother nods. ‘That’s fair,’ she says.

‘You can’t just … be in my life because you’ve decided it’s time to get yourself together. You know that, don’t you?’

She nods, wincing the tiniest amount, as if it hurts to hear him say that. But so what, Duke thinks. He’s hurt for decades.

‘I know,’ she says. ‘And I really will prove it. From near or far, things are different now. That’s why I waited so long to make sure – well, nearly ten months. It’s the longest I’ve ever gone, and it’s because I told myself that I’d come find you, if I could do it. I want to know you, Derrick. I can’t tell you how much shame I have,’ and she starts to cry again, now, taking big gulps in between her words. ‘How much shame I have,’ she repeats, taking a shaky breath, ‘that I don’t get to see my son. I want to know you. I know I don’t have a right to anymore but I’m hoping that maybe one day things will be different again.’

Duke nods. ‘Okay,’ he says. ‘Let’s just see, okay?’

‘Okay,’ his mum tells him, wiping her eyes with a damp tissue yet again.

25

Evie