Chapters (54)
‘Are you sure?’ he asks.
‘Yes!’ she says. ‘Literally we’re only going to get three hours’ sleep as it is, what’s a few more minutes? Crack on, fix it, then get back. Although …’ she adds, shaking her head. ‘Look, I know what me prancing about in your shirt and no trousers looks like, but I’m the least of your worries. You both need to sort yourselves out and say you want to be together. It’s like you’re looking for excuses not to, and I’ve got no idea why.’
Duke opens his mouth to protest, but finds he doesn’t know what he’d protest to, exactly. It’s like a slap around the face.
‘You’re right,’ he says, shaking his head with new understanding. ‘You’re so right! I lost my temper with her the other night, flew off the handle really … but what I didn’t do is just say what my problem was. Like a grown-up. And I think I’m on the edge of something here, some really radical thought, so bear with me, but …’ He’s smiling now, knowing he’s been ridiculous. ‘I think,’ he says, eyes wide, comically so. ‘I’m supposed to talk about my feelings and trust the other person will receive them and not run away from them.’
‘Duke,’ Daphne says, blinking slowly and shaking her head once again. ‘I’m glad I could be here to hear the penny drop. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I think you’ve just discovered the meaning of Christmas.’
‘Love,’ he affirms, and he’s actually semi-serious now. ‘Is the meaning of Christmas to offer love, without expectation? Am I supposed to offer trust without expectation …?’
‘Until proven otherwise,’ Daphne says. ‘Yah. You say you like her, but how is she supposed to believe that if you don’t offer up your whole self, doubts and worries and all? It makes you look like a …’
‘Liar,’ Duke supplies. ‘If I don’t tell her what I’m scared about, as well as that I like her, it’s a half-truth.’
‘And how could anybody trust a half-truth?’ Daphne says.
‘When we were together,’ Duke continues, ‘that’s what you were trying to tell me, weren’t you? When you said to be honest with you, I thought I was being honest because I wanted it to work so much … but I never told you about my mum, or my worries about all this, or my freaking nose job—’
‘It’s a great nose,’ Daphne offers. ‘I figured.’
‘Thank you,’ Duke says, temporarily off-track. He considers all this. ‘Evie knows all those things,’ he says. ‘She just doesn’t know this one last piece of the puzzle.’
‘And what’s that?’ Daphne asks, smiling.