“Here you go.”

Leo crawled off Jess’s chest and snuggled in next to her, sleepily holding the bottle.

“Lib?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve made a list of things I want Leo to know. It’s on my iPad. It’s stuff like how much I love his cuddles and his gurgly laugh. How I love standing in his room watching him sleep. Please tell him I took him out jogging in the stroller and how we spent ages on the pier watching the fishermen. And when he’s older and he’s no longer scared of ducks, tell him even though he was terrified, he refused to give in to his fear, saying, ‘Duck okay,’ and—” A spasm caught her and she stiffened, losing her breath.

Libby took her hand. “I promise I’ll use the list. I’ll ask Alice to match it with photos and make it into a book.”

New pain gripped Jess, circling her belly like a steel band and bringing a new sense of urgency. “But there’s stuff I haven’t written down. Tell him I love him more than I ever loved anyone. That education changed my life. That you and Karen showed me what was possible. Tell him to work hard and stay in school—” She gasped, bringing her knees up to her chin as if that would stop the agony. Leo sat up. “Show him what I couldn’t.”

“Shh, stop talking. I’ll get you something for the pain.”

“No, listen!” Jess struggled to speak. “Love him … so he learns … how to love … the right way … not like me.” The edges of her mind fuzzed red as violent pain exploded in shock waves of agony. “Show him … to be kind so … he doesn’t hurt … people who love him … I—”

“Jess!” Libby’s voice sounded a long way away.

“Hurts … take him.”

She registered the loss of Leo’s warmth and for the first time ever, she gave in to the pain.

In many ways, the old master bedroom at Burrunan resembled a hospital ward, although the toy box beside the bed clearly stated that it wasn’t. Everything else did though, from the catheter bag hanging on the side of the bed to the syringe driver continuously administering medication. It was two days since Leo’s birthday party and the onset of the complete bowel obstruction that had finally beaten Jess. Today, she’d barely been conscious and Libby was doing everything possible to keep her comfortable.

Nick’s hands massaged Libby’s shoulders. “Take a break? Alice and I can—”

“No.”

“If it was Ramesh, you’d tell him to take a break.”

“His best friend isn’t dying. I want to do this for her. I need to.”

“Fair enough. Do you think she can still hear?”