During the session, Libby wondered if Nick regretted his insistence they spend $3,500 only to have more pain heaped upon him. Despite the room being on the cool side, circles of sweat stained his shirt.

“I want her to forgive me,” Nick said.

“Can you forgive yourself?” Chris asked.

“It feels wrong to do that before Libby’s forgiven me.”

Libby silently agreed. Nick had hurt her and she decided when he was forgiven.

“It’s not wrong,” Chris said. “One mistake doesn’t define a person and your mistake doesn’t define you. From what you’ve told me individually and as a couple, you’ve made amends and committed to Libby and your children.”

“I have.”

“So why can’t you forgive yourself?”

Nick’s eyes were fixed on the intricate pattern woven into the plush carpet. His voice was soft. “Because when Libby looks at me, I see how much I’ve hurt her.”

“Do you think there’s more you could be doing?”

Nick threw a beseeching glance at Libby. “I’d do more if I knew what you wanted.” He faced Chris. “Thing is, I’m out of ideas, so I just keep doing the same things over and over.”

“And what are they?”

“Libby works long hours so I do a lot of the cooking and after-school activities with the girls. I’ve been trying hard to make home a pleasant place to be. I cook her favorite meals, buy her flowers, buy her books she might enjoy, give her time alone …”

Chris turned to Libby, his features benign. “Do you feel this shows Nick’s commitment to you and the marriage?”

“He’s always done that stuff. He was doing it during the two years he knew he’d fathered a child with another woman!”

Chris didn’t react to her outburst. “What more do you need Nick to do?”

Libby’s fingers dug into the arms of the chair. “I don’t know. I just wish he’d never done what he did.”

Nick tugged at his hair. “So do I. You know I do. I keep telling you it’s the biggest regret of my life. It’s why I’m putting up with you punishing me by wanting to know where I am every minute of the day, and you asking me over and over what happened that night.”

“It’s very normal for a betrayed spouse to need those reassurances, Nick,” Chris said smoothly. “Accepting it with grace is part of your commitment to Libby.”

“Thank you!” Libby felt vindicated. “He needed to hear that.”

“We’ve talked about anger and punishment, Libby,” Chris said. “How it’s normal to feel all those emotions at the time. But what we do with the anger is the important part. There comes a point when holding onto anger and pain causes more damage than the initial betrayal.”

Libby thought of Leo. “That’s not possible.”