Neglect.

“I’m—I’m sorry?” He tried to clear the gruff out of his throat. “I don’t understand.”

Her dark eyes, the only thing he’d really remember about her appearance later, were calm and held his very steadily. “He hasn’t been showing up to school dressed properly for the weather, and his clothes are often...unclean. It seems like he isn’t bathing regularly, especially since he often shows up with yesterday’s paint on his hands and arms. And though I got him on the school’s lunch program, you haven’t applied for the scholarship help. I could get in trouble for allowing an unregistered kid to have a free lunch every day.”

Humiliation was a hot lick of flame from every side. It had been two months since Cora’s parents had headed back to White Plains. And his friends Mary and Tyler were a huge help, but they had lives; they couldn’t be there every single day.

How did I let this get so fucked?

There was nowhere to look. Nothing to say. All he could think about was his stupid fucking misbuttoned shirt. “He told me he always got lunch at school. I just thought...”

He trailed off because he had no idea what he’d thought. He’d trusted a four-year-old and never thought to double-check. Just like he’d trusted a four-year-old who’d said that Mommy let him wash himself and Mommy let him pick out his own clothes every day. He’d never double-checked any of it.

Neglect.

The word was out of the jar and it was so big, looming and leering, that he knew he’d never get it back in. That word was, apparently, his new asshole of a best friend. His life partner now.

And he fucking deserved it. He’d let his kid come to school with no lunch. Yesterday’s clothes. Dirty hair just like his daddy.

“Fuck,” he muttered into the dry hands that he’d dragged up to cover his horrified expression.

“I don’t know what you’re going through, Mr. Dorner, no one can. But I’ve lost people in my family, and... I know what it feels like to spin off into nothing.”

He glanced up. Was that what he was doing? Spinning into nothing? God. Sure felt like it.

“There were some things that really helped me get my feet back on the ground, and I made one of them for you.” She slid a piece of paper over to him and it was a shocking white to his stinging eyes. A bright block of accusation sitting there over top of the spirals of green and purple crayon on the tabletop.

Neglect.

It was a checklist. All the things he needed to do every day to take care of his son. A sharp gasp of shame had Sebastian coughing into his elbow. “What’s this?” He already knew.

“Just something to help you keep everything straight.” She leaned over and tapped firmly at each bullet point. “Three square meals with a snack after school. There should be at least one fruit and one vegetable at each meal. Even breakfast. Which, you know, breakfast vegetables are tricky for everyone so don’t worry about that so much. But definitely for lunch. He also needs a main course and a little side. Something to drink, too. I made a list of good options here, all things you can pick up at the grocery store. Or even have delivered. Now, do you use a laundromat? Or a washer and dryer at home?”