And of course, it made that dense ball of feeling grow even denser, even hungrier.

Spending her birthday with him had been a dream come true. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d been happier than that night in the pillow fort. And when those gray-green eyes of his had found hers across the room? Well. God. She’d been about two moves away from curling into his lap like a kitten. Friends be damned.

Fin had pushed her to tell him how she felt, but Via was very, very unsure. What would the point of telling Sebastian really be? This whole thing with Evan only proved to Via how much of a mess she really was. She tried to be so orderly and prepared for everything but there she went, clinging to her relationship with Evan for an embarrassingly long time. That was not the behavior of the person she wanted to be. It just showed her exactly how little she’d be suitable for someone like Seb, who needed someone reliable in his life. Not a woman who couldn’t even figure out her feelings about her own boyfriend until they nearly smashed down the door.

She’d freaked herself out with this Evan thing. She’d thought she was so grown-up, and then she’d gone and lashed herself to someone like him. It just proved she didn’t know shit about shit.

Except that she did know one thing. That she couldn’t stop thinking about Seb. She was pretty certain he was attracted to her. But she had no clue if he wanted anything more than that. Actually, the only evidence she had was to the contrary. He’d said that Fin was too young for him. And Via was roughly three years younger than Fin.

She’d done the math. It wasn’t encouraging.

She had to admit that he did seem a lot older than she did. His demeanor, the grays at his temples, his ability to keep a cool head under all circumstances. The way he listened with patience and full attention. He was never distracted by his phone or by the television. Something about him seemed old school.

She only hoped that she didn’t seem correspondingly young to him. Empirically, she knew she wasn’t completely immature. She’d worked to have a stable, steady life. But up until a month ago, she’d had an extremely immature boyfriend, and that was points against her. She should have seen that Evan wasn’t the real McCoy. There’d been sign after sign. And she hadn’t been able to see any of them until Seb had walked into her life and shown her what grown-up really looked like.

Her ultimate fear was that he’d see her as a girl with a crush.

Well, she did totally have a crush on him, but that was just the topmost layer of her feelings. Her feelings were dense and strong. And, God help her, growing roots.

Via tossed her school things on the couch and strode into her bedroom. She carefully placed her work clothes into the dry-cleaning bag and pulled on workout clothes. She’d take a jog to Fin’s. That would help clear her head.