Grandma read the rules again.

“Wait a second here,” she said. “Why didn’t I see this before? It says you can bring a bird.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Yeah? So?”

“So you can take my canary!” she said. “I’ll let you take Twitter!”

I looked and looked at that woman.

Then I patted her hand very nice. And I whispered a secret in her ear.

“Yeah, only here’s the problem. I hate that dumb bird,” I said.

Grandma Miller looked surprised.

“You hate him? You hate Twitter?” she asked.

I showed her my finger.

“He pecked me, Grandma. He pecked my finger, remember that? And I didn’t even do anything to that guy.”

Grandma Miller made squinty eyes at me.

“You put a potato on his head,” she said. “I would have pecked you, too.”

I smiled kind of nervous.

“It was a hat,” I said real soft.

After that, me and Grandma Miller sat there kind of stiffish. And we didn’t talk for lots of minutes.

Finally, I tapped on her.

“Do you have any other pets at your house?” I asked. “Any pets I’m not aware of?”

Grandma Miller laughed a little bit.

“Not unless we catch that crazy old raccoon that keeps breaking into our garbage can every night,” she said.

Then she laughed some more.

And guess what?

I laughed, too!

’Cause that woman is a genius, I tell you!

³/_{The Boss}

On Saturday, I got out of bed very thrilled.

Then I runned to the garage.

And I grabbed my daddy’s fishing net.

And I zoomed right into the kitchen.

Mother was eating cereal.

“Mother! Mother! Guess why I have this fishing net! Guess, Mother! Guess! Guess!”

I couldn’t wait for her to guess.

“’CAUSE TODAY’S THE DAY I’M CATCHING THAT CRAZY OLD RACCOON!” I shouted.

Mother closed her eyes.

“No, Junie B. No. We already talked about this, remember? We discussed the raccoon at dinner last night.”

I smiled very happy.

“I already know that! I already know we discussed the raccoon!”

Mother looked confused.

“But Daddy and I said no, Junie B.,” she said. “We said you could not catch a raccoon. Raccoons have sharp claws and teeth, remember?”

“Yes! Of course I remember! That’s how come I got this net, Mother! See how long the handle is? Now I will be safe from him!”

Mother spelled the word no.

“N-o…no,” she said.

I stamped my foot.

“Y-e-s…yes,” I said back. “I have to, Mother. I have to catch a raccoon for Pet Day. Grandma Miller even said I could. And she is the boss of you.”

Just then, a miracle happened.

And it is called my Grandma Helen Miller walked right in my back door!

Mother looked up.

“Oh look. It’s the boss of me,” she said kind of grouchy.

I runned at my grandma very happy.

“Grandma Miller! Grandma Miller! I am so glad to see you! ’Cause Mother said I can’t catch a raccoon! And so now you have to make her!”