Principal made another frown at me. Then he talked some more.

“You see, boys and girls,” he said. “Sometimes adults say things that can be very confusing to children. Like what if you heard me talking about a lucky duck? You might think I was talking about a real live duck. But lucky duck just means a lucky person.”

“Right,” said Mrs. “And when we call someone a busy bee, we don’t mean he’s a real bee. We just mean he’s a hard worker.”

“Hey! I just thought of another one!” I said very excited. “A dumb bunny isn’t a real alive bunny, either! It’s just a plain old dumb guy!”

Then my friend Lucille raised her hand.

“I’ve got one, too,” she said. “Sometimes my nanna calls my daddy a couch potato. Only he’s not a real potato. He’s just a lazy bum.”

“Yeah, and I’m not a big pig,” said my new boyfriend Ricardo. “But my mom says I eat like one.”

After that, a whole bunch of other kids said they eat like big pigs, too.

Only a boy named Donald said he eats like a horse.

And crybaby William eats like a bird.

Just then it was time for the bell to ring. And so me and Principal said bye-bye to each other. And I went to my seat.

Then I gave Lucille back her red chair. She was very nice to me.

“I’m sorry that your brother isn’t a real monkey, Junie B.,” she said.

“Thank you, Lucille,” I said. “I’m sorry that your daddy isn’t a real potato, too.”

After that, the bell rang for us to go home. And so me and Lucille and that Grace held hands. And we walked outside together.

Only then a very wonderful thing happened!

And it’s called—I heard my mother’s voice!

“JUNIE B.! JUNIE B.! OVER HERE, HONEY. DADDY AND I ARE OVER HERE!”

Then I looked in the parking lot. And I saw her! And so I runned to her speedy quick. And then me and Mother hugged and hugged. Because I hadn’t seen her for a very whole day!

Then my daddy got out of the car. And he had a little yellow blanket in his arms. And guess what was in that thing?

My new baby brother, that’s what!

He was very teeny. And pinkish. Except his head had a lot of black hair on it.

I touched it. It felt like fuzzy.

Just then Ricardo walked by. And he saw my teeny brother.

“Cool hair,” he said.

I smiled very big. “I know it, Ricardo,” I said. “And guess what else? He doesn’t even smell like P.U.”

After that I got in the car. And I told Mother about Lucille’s locket. And she said maybe I could get a locket, too. And I could put my brother’s teeny head in there.

“Yes. And I would also like some pink high tops, please,” I said very polite.