She couldn't speak but she nodded. She had not cried at all, did not care to cry in front of others, even him. Crying was stupid. What she wanted from her one remaining son was a promise, not his tears.

"It's all right, Mike. I'm okay now—"

He squinted into her eyes. "You're not! You can't be!"

"Well, I just don't want to talk about it yet."

He looked at her closely. "We have to, you know."

"Not now."

She embraced Carla. She kneeled and unzipped Thea from her quilted green nylon cocoon. She hugged her and looked into her face. "And are you ready for Santa Claus down there, Pumpkin?"

She touched Ellen's cheek. "Will he still come?"

Her throat tightened. "Of course he will. For you."

"For all of us, Ellen," murmured Carla. "Wait and see."

Ellen managed a smile. "Thea, there are cookies. Polly baked them just for you." Thea remembered where the kitchen was and scampered off. "Carla? Mike? I think you need a drink."

She saw a glance pass between them, and Mike nodded. "Okay, Mom."

***

She walked with her son on Amity Beach. The sky was bleak and the surf was pounding. It was cold but she felt nothing.

"I knew it when he left, Mike."

His eyes burned with anger. "For a rotten piece of wood!"

"Yes." She took a deep breath and got it out. "I don't want it to happen to you."

He stared at her. "To me?"

"You're diving all day long. I want you to stop."

"Mom!" He stopped and searched her face. "You can't be serious!"

"You're damn right I'm serious. I want you out of the water."

"I'm a marine biologist! It's my job!"

"He thought it was his job to move that piling!"

He looked at her sadly. "And you want me to be less than him? Or Dad?"

"I just want you to be! Let your partner... what's his name?"

"Jake," he murmured. "Jake McCay."

"Let him do the diving. Stay in the lab or on the boat. For me?"

"Mom," he said softly, "we don't have great white sharks down there."

"You never know! That one—"

"What do you mean, that one?"

"It was after Sean, Mike. I know it in my bones."

He slipped his arm around her. "Mom, we're going home."

"It was, dammit. I know it was! And I don't want you to dive!"

He stopped and kissed her on the brow.

"I can't promise you that, Mom. Look, you have to let go and cry."

She looked into his eyes, so much like Marty's and Sean's.

"You won't let him scare you out of the water?" she asked.

"I can't."

"Then why the hell should I let him make me cry?"

***

The wind had shifted southeast, and everyone who had gathered in Amity's graveyard on the hill behind the church knew that this time it was bringing drizzle that would turn the snow to slush.