They asked if I wanted to say a few words about you or share a story or a memory, but I said no. I hope that’s okay. I guess maybe I just didn’t feel like sharing. Maybe I wanted to keep my memories for myself.

Or maybe I feel so guilty over what I did that the thought of standing up there made me feel like a phony.

Mom doesn’t look the same. It’s like someone sucked all the life right out of her. She’s pale and sad all the time, but she’s also angry. I don’t know if she’s mad at me or you or Lou or Lou’s parents or everyone. Maybe it’s everyone.

Everything’s changed. We’re moving. We sold Seaside. I’m looking for a job to help out where I can, but nothing is the same anymore.

I know you did what you did because you love me, but I wonder if you realized how hard it would be to live with the guilt of what happened.

Maybe it would’ve been better if I had been the one who drowned.

Maybe then none of this would hurt so bad.

Can you ever forgive me?

Cody

CHAPTER EIGHT

“YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME,” CODY SAID. “It would’ve been nice to know what we were up against.”

It was the day after his impromptu dinner at Louisa’s, and Duncan sat behind his desk. “Let me remind you which one of us is in charge. Before you forget yourself.”

Cody straightened. He was dangerously close to being out of line, and he knew it. His master chief might give him more leeway than most ranking officers would, but even Duncan had a breaking point.

Cody drew in a deep breath. “Apologies, Master Chief.”

Duncan motioned toward the seat opposite his desk. “I intended to fill you in on everything I knew, but you had a pretty eventful day yesterday.”

That was fair. It had been quite a day. And Cody hadn’t exactly been mentally present for their conversation.

“Can you fill me in now?”

“I’m assuming you heard about the kid in a coma.”

“Yes.”

“And about Jessup’s remarks?”

“Yes.”

“Then you already know everything.”

“Is this why they brought you in?” Cody asked.

“No, but this is the mess I inherited when the guy before me retired. We’ve got an image problem.”

Cody sighed. “Great.”

It was hard sometimes to get communities to listen to their instructions as it was, but if they had an image problem, it would be even more difficult. They needed people to listen; otherwise they would end up with more tragedies like Jackson Wirth.

“I know you’re not much of a people person, but I’m going to need your help on this,” Duncan said.