The memory had come, unwanted, on the flight, but it stuck with him. How long had it been since he’d shown anyone that same kind of love? How long had it been since he stopped wallowing in his own pain and started focusing on how he could make other people happy? Even Louisa—whom he loved more than anyone—hadn’t received that from him. He’d withdrawn his love from her the moment it got hard.

It shamed him to think of it now.

“Love without condition,” Cody said. “Dad taught me that. His sacrifice to save my life nearly killed me in a lot of ways, but I know he’d do it again if he had the choice. That was how he chose to live. We haven’t been living that way. We’ve been living angry.”

His mother stiffened again. “You know how hard this has been.”

“I do,” he said. “And I know that we made it. We’re still okay.”

She set the check on the counter. “This doesn’t change anything. Maggie’s generosity is appreciated, but it can’t bring him back.”

“I don’t think she was hoping to replace Dad.” Cody could feel his own frustration brewing. “She just wanted to help.”

“Why didn’t she help twelve years ago?” She was crying now, and he realized it was the first time he’d ever seen her cry over his father’s death. Her stone-faced exterior was one of anger and bitterness, but it only masked a deeper pain, one she didn’t allow herself to process.

Maybe he’d adopted some of her defense mechanisms. Maybe this was why he found it easier to push people away. Maybe the fear of feeling that pain was so overwhelming they’d both built walls around themselves to stay safe. Walls constructed out of bricks of anger.

His father wouldn’t want them to live there another day.

“Mom?”

She met his eyes.

“This terrible thing happened. Our family was torn apart, completely shredded. And you still kept us together.”

She scoffed. “I don’t feel put together at all.”

“But you are. You did it.”

“Do you think that makes everything okay? Do you think what Warren did was okay?”

“Of course not, Mom,” Cody said.

“I know you think you love Louisa, Cody.”

“This is not about Louisa.”

She held up a hand to silence him. “But you will never understand what I went through after your father died. He left us with almost nothing. And when I went to Warren—your father’s closest friend—to ask for help, he said no.”

“Dad had a plan—”

“Well, it didn’t work. Life doesn’t go the way we plan.”

“Mom, do you regret what Dad did that night?” Cody’s voice broke, but he quickly recovered. “Do you regret that he saved me?”