He pulled his hand away and leaned back in the chair, frustrated that her words were burrowing into his soul.

“Well, I have something to say about that, kiddo.”

He looked over at her, hungry for something—anything—that might release him from this prison of guilt.

“As many times as you wish you could change that night, that’s as many times as your father would do the exact same thing for you.”

His eyes clouded. “What?” The word came out a whisper.

“It’s like Jesus. Do you think he wanted to die? He knelt in that garden begging God for a different way, but he knew his sacrifice meant the rest of us could live.”

“But my dad didn’t have to die, Maggie. He only died because of me.”

“He did have to die in order for you to live. Don’t you see?” She coughed, but when he leaned forward to offer help, she held up a hand to stop him. Finally she cleared her throat and met his eyes. “It was his choice—and he would do it all over again in a heartbeat if given the chance. Don’t take away the power of the sacrifice he made by doubting it or wishing it away. The alternative means that you don’t get the life your father died for you to have. You owe it to him to live it big and full. Not to stay stuck here in shame and guilt.”

The words hung there between them, filling the dark house with the faint glow of light, of promise, of forgiveness.

Maggie leaned forward this time, taking both of his hands in her own. “Forgive yourself the same way you forgave Louisa. What happened was nobody’s fault. Not hers. Not yours. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can get on with your life.”

He hadn’t come here for this. Still, he mulled over her words for several seconds, unsure how to move on, how to get past this when he was still so sorry for all the pain he’d caused.

Had this shame been keeping him from moving forward? Was that the real reason he never got close to anyone—was he afraid of losing them, or was he afraid of being the reason they were lost?

The door opened and Louisa rushed in. “Sorry I’m late. I have dinner.” She stopped in the doorway, and her face fell. “What’s going on? Are you guys okay?”

Cody glanced at Maggie. “Yeah, we’re good.”

Maggie winked at him, then leaned back in her chair. “We’re starving. What took you so long?”