She nodded, willing away the knot at the back of her throat, which seemed to only tie itself tighter.

“How long?”

“Since the day you saved my life.”

He nodded. “Me too.”

“Nightmares?”

“Since the day my dad saved my life.”

Her heart lurched. How was it possible that he continued to go in the water? Continued to war with this vicious ocean and keep these taunting dreams at bay?

He picked up her hands and pressed them to his mouth. His eyes were closed, and he inhaled a breath deeper than any of the ones she’d just taken. “You should’ve told me.” Her hands were at his forehead, and he seemed to be working very hard to keep his distance.

Something inside her called out to him, begging him to draw her closer, to give in to this—whatever this was. They were meant to be together. Surely he felt that now? It was undeniable. It was obvious. The fish in the ocean below them could probably feel the electric currents radiating from their boat.

And then, as if his senses had been knocked back into him, he backed away and gently let go of her hands.

“Listen, we need to head back in,” he said. “So I want you to sit here and stare at your shoes. Don’t look up. Don’t even look at me, even though I know how much you like to stare.”

She started to protest, and he smiled.

“I’m kidding, Lou.”

Once again, she did as she was told. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. It happens.”

“Obviously not to you. You’re in this water every day. You even get in without a boat. You pull people out of it.”

“Well, it’s been a few years,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

He steadied his gaze ahead of him as if looking at her would hurt too much. “I tried to become a rescue swimmer,” he said. “Right after . . .”

Her head turned woozy. “You . . . ?”

“I always swam, you know. I was good at it. But after that night—something changed.” This felt important, like a genuine connection, and she wasn’t about to interrupt. What if he thought better of it and closed back up?

“A lot of guys don’t make it,” he said. “I wasn’t going to be one of them. I was going to be the best.” He shifted. “I did awesome in the pool, but when we got into open water, I froze. I panicked. Forgot all my training. The only thing I could remember was that night. I failed.”

Louisa gazed back down at her shoes. “But you figured it out, right? I mean, look at you now.”