You did this, he said. I hope you’re happy now. You killed me. Then Adrian dropped out of the sky to the rocks below and she screamed and screamed.

Dani woke up with a jerk, her heart racing, her mouth open, her breath coming in jagged pants. Caught in that moment when she wasn’t sure what was real and what was the dream. Was she awake? Had she actually screamed out loud this time? She lay motionless, getting her bearings. Thinking it through.

Her throat was dry, but it didn’t hurt, so she probably hadn’t screamed out loud. She didn’t do that every time she had the dream. And she smelled bacon and coffee, so she was awake.

Someone was making breakfast.

Diesel. Oh God. Diesel Kennedy was in her kitchen, making breakfast for the boys. Michael and Joshua. Who need me.

So pull yourself together, Danika. Put Adrian out of your mind and focus on those two kids. Who need you.

Easier said than done. The dream always left her shaken and filled with self-loathing. Not the face she wanted to show the boys. Who need me.

It was a mantra that worked. Had worked ever since she’d been sixteen years old and suddenly responsible for her infant brother. Greg needs me. It had gotten her out of bed every morning as she’d raised him, even though she’d completely botched that job. It worked every day that she woke up now, wishing she could just . . .

She wasn’t sure what. Be somewhere else? Be someone else? But the clinic needed her. The patients who had no other health-care choices needed her.

Michael and Joshua need you. So move your ass and be who they need. Do not let them down.

Like she’d let Adrian down. He’d needed her, but she’d been selfish. So damn selfish. Adrian was dead, gone out in a blaze of glory. And, like it or not, it’s my fault.

She drew another breath, relieved that her heart no longer threatened to beat free of her chest. She had regained enough control that she was able to force a smile when her bedroom door opened slowly and a little face cautiously peeked in.

“Good morning, Joshua. You can come in, but next time knock first, okay?”

His face pinched. “I’m sorry. Coach told me to, but I forgot.”

“It’s okay.” And it was. She always slept in sweats when she had foster kids in the house, so that she’d be decent if one of them needed her during the night.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and found her fuzzy slippers, wriggling her toes as she slid her feet inside. The comfort took the remaining edge off the unsteady feeling left by the nightmare.

Joshua giggled. “I like your slippers.”

She shoved the remnants of remembered horror from her mind as she lifted her foot. “So do I. Big Bird always makes me happy. Did you sleep okay last night?”