The air in my lungs began to leach into the water. Bubble after bubble escaped from my nose and mouth. Black clouds descended on my consciousness, and my heart began to beat crazily, an uneven rhythm. Unable to hold it back anymore, my chest gave way. I exhaled with a rush, feeling the last of my oxygen seep away.

I needed to inhale now. I couldn’t stop myself.

I took a breath, knowing there was no breath there. I opened my mouth, and my lips formed a last soundless word.

“Karly . . .”

Then the river swam hungrily into my lungs.

CHAPTER 37

CHAPTER 37

“Dylan?”

“Dylan?”

“Dylan, are you there? Talk to me.”

“Dylan, come back. I’m still here.”

I knew that voice.

I didn’t know where it came from, but even in the depths of darkness, I could picture the face that went with that voice, like a speck of light at the end of a long, long tunnel. There was a woman waiting for me there, if only I could find her. If only I could find my way out.

“Dylan, I’m holding your hand. Can you feel me holding your hand?”

I did feel it. Something warm squeezed my fingers, and the touch felt familiar and good. It brought memories that floated in my head like dreams. There had been times when I would lie in bed in the middle of the night, and the only sensation I felt would be that hand holding mine. As long as I held that hand, life was worth living. With that hand in mine, I wasn’t alone.

“Dylan?”

“Dylan, open your eyes.”

“Dylan, please, open your eyes.”

“Dylan, come back to me. I’m here.”

I wanted to do what she said. I would do anything for her. To open my eyes, I had to break free from the darkness, but I didn’t know how to do that. The darkness had held me in its arms for a long time, and it was hard to say goodbye and let go. There was a strange comfort in nothingness. But I also felt an ache, a longing, a need to see the woman who was talking to me, who was holding my hand, who was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. I felt as if I’d been searching for her forever.

I knew her name. It was Karly.

I tried to do what she asked. I tried to let go of where I was and go back to where she was. I began to be aware of my body. Sensations slowly came back to life. I was conscious of being warm. I was aware that it hurt when I breathed. I had muscles I could move and control if I thought hard about how to do so. As Karly squeezed my hand, my fingers squeezed hers back.

I could hear, smell, touch. I was awake now. My eyelids fluttered.