It’s just that things have been a bit off since you left. I’m trying to make them better.

My sister, Bridget, had a miscarriage. She was seven months into the pregnancy. We are all quite devastated. Mam went to Dublin for the month to help her out. I’m still busking and looking after the house. I took a side job on the farm so I could help Mam since she stopped working to be with Bridget. They say Bridge is depressed, and they gave her some pills, but I think Mam needs something, too.

Everyone else is fine. Kathleen has started wearing very short skirts and took up cooking. I think my mate Sean has a massive crush on her, so perhaps we’ll hear wedding bells soon.

I wrote a few songs I’d love for you to hear, but no worries if you’re busy. If you’re not, you could always send me your phone number. Also, feel free to answer by email if it’s easier (yes, I’m aware I’m breaking more napkin rules):

[email protected]

Or you can just snail mail something back. Or just answer through the power of telepathy.

(I’m kidding. Don’t do that. It is not a reliable form of communication.)

Enclosed are more stamps, in case you’ve lost the previous ones.

Snogs and hugs,

Mal

Dear Rory,

Congrats on the photography award. Saw it in your college’s newsletter.

Very proud.

(And equally pathetic.)

Mal

Dear Rory,

How about just tell me you’re still alive and I’ll leave you alone?

Cheers,

Mal

Dear Mal,

Good news: I’m alive.

Bad news: Sometimes I wish I wasn’t.

I didn’t want to write you this letter.

In fact, I never meant to hurt you the way I am about to. Please remember that as you read on.

I need you to stop writing to me. You have no idea how painful it is to see your name. We cannot be together. I’ve moved on, and I’m trying to rebuild my life.

After I came back from Ireland, I found out I was pregnant. I was scared, I was alone, and I was at college. I didn’t have any means to take care of the baby. I had no one to turn to. Becoming a single mother, alone and financially struggling, sounded like a nightmare I was all too familiar with. Reliving my mother’s life was out of the question.

I debated contacting you several times, but what could I say?

You are there, and I am here, and it’s not like you could have provided for the baby and me.