Back Impossible Causes Save as PDF
Chapters (56)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Title Page
  4. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  5. Part One Solar Phase
  6. June 2017
  7. Ordinary Time: Autumn 2017
  8. The Book of Leah
  9. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  10. The Book of Leah
  11. Ordinary Time: Autumn 2017
  12. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  13. September 2017
  14. Ordinary Time: Autumn 2017
  15. The Book of Leah
  16. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  17. The Book of Leah
  18. October 2017
  19. Ordinary Time: Autumn 2017
  20. The Book of Leah
  21. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  22. November 2017
  23. The Book of Leah
  24. November 2017
  25. Kingdomtide 2017
  26. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  27. The Book of Leah
  28. December 2017
  29. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  30. The Book of Leah
  31. Advent 2017
  32. Part Two Lunar Phase
  33. The Book of Leah
  34. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  35. December 2017
  36. The Book of Leah
  37. Transfiguration 2018
  38. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  39. February 2018
  40. The Book of Leah
  41. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  42. February 2018
  43. The Book of Leah
  44. Lent 2018
  45. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  46. March 2018
  47. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  48. March 2018
  49. The Book of Leah
  50. Eastertide 2018
  51. Eastertide: Friday the 13th – April 2018
  52. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  53. Eastertide: Friday the 13th – April 2018
  54. The Book of Leah
  55. Acknowledgements
  56. Note On The Author

The mention of blood snaps Viola back to the urgency of the moment; she needs to go. Maybe this woman is no real friend, no compatriot in the fight. She is likely the same as everyone on Lark – her eyes have been averted for too long, never willing to be sure.

Viola turns for the kitchen, the way out.

‘You have to be compassionate to those who looked away.’ The woman follows her, imploring her to listen. ‘The truth is slippery; it’s difficult to get hold of. And if you do, what then? You can’t escape it here. You have to shape it, make it palatable. Or else, how do you go on living? Some people can’t, just ask that poor girl who –’

‘Bethany Reid!’ Viola whips back around, the girl’s name bursting from her lips – a hard sweet released from the throat by a slap on the back. ‘She killed herself because of what was happening to her and you all looked away!’

The old woman’s voice is riven with remorse. ‘She left nothing, no evidence, nothing we could use.’

Viola shakes her head. It is not good enough.

‘But now we have three voices,’ says the woman.

‘Four,’ says Viola fiercely.

‘And Bethany is here too.’ The old woman stretches out her fingers and plays the invisible strings of the air. ‘I believe that. I think she came back as a fox. The men lost at sea, they are now deer and –’

Viola backs away, frightened by this talk. ‘No,’ she says.

The woman lets her arms float down and steps closer, peers at her.

‘Did you lose someone?’ she asks, trying to place a hand on Viola’s shoulder.

She flinches from this touch. ‘People don’t come back from the dead.’

‘You understand the pain then.’ The woman speaks gently, sympathetically. ‘You know it too well.’

‘People don’t come back,’ Viola repeats. She had let herself think that they do, was haunted in the aftermath by that scene from their namesakes’ play – Sebastian arriving in Illyria, returned from the dead, not in his watery tomb at all but able to hug his long-lost sister. The fiction tormented her. ‘They just die,’ Viola blurts, ‘they just end. They don’t even go to heaven because why would we want them up there, looking down on us, seeing what we’re doing now and how we’re getting it all totally and completely…’ She chokes, unable to go on.

The woman gets her hand to Viola’s shoulder this time and her touch is like a kind of magic. Viola’s vision swims. She looks down, roots herself, sees her legs in pyjamas, her two feet in their boots, the kitchen tiles beneath. She sees that she exists, she is here, and that is enough. She looks up.

The woman smiles, tells her: ‘I will do better this time, I promise. I have you beside me.’