“I’m not hungry. Follow me.” I catch the look on his face just before I disappear into my bedroom. Normally, I would be filled with anxiety and self-doubt in a situation like this. But there’s nothing normal about my life anymore.

Devonte has long legs and could be in here in seconds, but instead, he’s coming up slowly, as if he’s thinking over every step he takes. That’s fine; it gives me a chance to look myself over in the mirror. My collarbones are more pronounced now; I haven’t been eating much. There are dark circles under my eyes and an aura of hopelessness surrounds me.

It’s not all bad, though. Yes, my cutoff jean shorts are worn, but they are still cute. And yeah, my T-shirt is faded, but it’s A Tribe Called Quest, so I’m good. The last thing I check out is my hair. Thanks to my girl Nai, it’s freshly braided like Alicia Keys circa Songs in A Minor. All in all, not bad for a girl who just wants to stay in bed and never get up.

He knocks on my bedroom door, although it’s already open. I find that adorable. Why would he knock? Could he be nervous? I mean, he’s probably done this a bunch of times, so why would he even think to be nervous?

“Come in.”

“For real?” he says.

I roll my eyes. “Yes, come in already!”

Devonte carefully crosses the threshold of my bedroom. Once he makes it inside, he lets out a sigh of relief.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Man, I thought, knowing your mom, she might have rigged your room up so that any guy who crosses the doorway gets sent to the cornfield.”

I’m about to have sex with a guy who can make a decent Twilight Zone reference. Respect.

“The only reason that kid acted like that was ’cause he didn’t have a Black mama,” I point out.

We both laugh as he takes in my room. He nods with approval. He asks about some of the posters. I walk over to him and place my arms around his neck. I lean my head back and gaze into his eyes.

“I didn’t bring you up here for Q&A. I brought you here for T&A,” I tease.

“Oh, shoot, wordplay,” he says, then we kiss. It’s a casual kiss at first. But then it grows more and more seeking. This is usually the point where we would pull back. Okay, this is usually the point where I would pull back. He would follow suit.

He’s waiting for me to halt the make-out session, but I don’t. And as the kisses intensify and our hands wander, the darkness that threatens to swallow me whole is held at bay . . .

Yes, it’s working . . .