“It’s okay, Getti. You can help out when you get back. Go, have fun and be safe,” she says, then kisses me on the forehead.

I smile sadly and walk out the door. Everyone is piled into the cab across the street, waiting on me. I look at Devonte. He grins, making his already handsome face that much sexier.

He motions for me to hurry and get in the car. I look down at the ground but remain in the doorway. He gets out of the car. He’s read my troubled expression.

“I heard. Milton told us. We can help when we get back,” he says.

I don’t reply.

“Ayo . . . we’ve been planning this forever.”

“I know.”

He sighs and shakes his head in dismay. “Milton is in See Us. He’s going on the trip.”

“I don’t know Milton’s heart. I only know mine.” I walk down the steps and stand close to him. “Go. Have a good time.”

He strokes my cheek. “If you ask me to stay, I will.”

“I know.”

He looks deep in my eyes. “Ayo, ask me to stay . . .”

I can’t meet his gaze. I don’t know how to tell him that there’s no room for the two of us. But when I finally risk looking into his eyes, I can tell he already knows that. And although he’s not saying anything, his silence is screaming at me. It’s asking me a hundred questions:

Why can’t we make it work?

Why can’t I be both an activist and his girl?

Why must I choose?

“Devonte, the girl who struggled to choose between her social life and social issues is gone. Some people can stay in the fight part time. And some of us are full-time warriors, who don’t get to pause or take a day off. You know which one I am.”

He pleads, “I get it, but you don’t have to be. Ayo, you shouldn’t have to give up your whole life.”

“No, I shouldn’t. But then again, we shouldn’t have to change our names on job applications because the ‘Black names’ go to the bottom of the pile. We shouldn’t have fear be the first emotion we feel when a cop is near.”

“You fought to have a life and now you do. Ayo, I know you. I know that you can do both.”

“I’m sorry.”

He clenches his fist, “Argh! C’mon! What happened to the girl before? The one who told me off?! The girl who was fire and did her own thing? What happened to her?”

“Her mom got shot in the head.”

His eyes are glossy; he blinks back tears he’ll never admit were there in the first place. He brings me close and whispers, “Ayo . . . I love you.”